


Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned

by Hana (steppingstone)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anti-Hook, Babies, Bathroom Sex, Bedroom Sex, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Flirting, Forgiveness, Kissing, Love, Oral Sex, Reconciliation, Sex, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow To Update
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-19 22:56:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8227592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steppingstone/pseuds/Hana
Summary: It's been a long time since they returned from The Underworld but the damage lives on. And now Hook is gone, Henry is at college, and Emma's struggling. Regina's life would be fine if she could just get through to her but they've been estranged for so long. Maybe it's too late to bridge the hurt and distance between them.





	1. 4 Weeks

**Author's Note:**

> AU after season 5. Season 6 events never happen in this fic, and Regina never separated herself either. Hyde never crossed over. You will need to pretend Henry was about 15/16 in season 5! There's also no issues with crossing the town line. People are free to come and go as they please.
> 
> Early chapters feature their relationships with Hook and Robin and there's also a look back to when Regina was grieving but this is SOLELY A SWANQUEEN STORY. Around 16 chapters long. Which is a surprise as I only imagined about 5 when I started! It just keeps growing in the most wonderful ways.
> 
>  
> 
> Spoilery trigger warning below:
> 
> There are some mentions of emotional and physical domestic abuse in a few chapters this fic but these events occur before the story begins.

He's so tall. 

For some reason that was all Emma could think about as she walked into the diner with her family. She still couldn’t get used to Henry's height despite the fact that it's been years since he outgrew Regina in heels. Emma is going to miss him. Summer has ended too soon. 

Neal had his own chair and a child sized portion of fries all to himself - although he still needed half the sauce wiping from his hands afterwards. Charming fed little Ruth on his knee. That was not the name Emma had suggested for her but her parents didn't listen so now all but one of the poor kids in Storybrooke had been named after dead people. She's sure there will be a support group for them all when they're older. Archie can run it for them. 

Whilst they were eating Regina chatted animatedly with Henry about the weeks ahead; pretending to get more details of things about which Emma was sure Regina already knows. Like what texts he'd be studying… Or how things with Violet were going… But Emma’s superpowers tingled and she noticed Regina's smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She may have barely seen her these past however many years but she could still read her all the same. And she understood. She hated waving her son goodbye too. The first few nights after he left were always the hardest. She never managed much sleep. Plus it’d be worse this time. The house felt too large, too empty since Killian had gone. She pulled her sleeve a little further down her arm to make sure no one would notice the bruising. 

They finished up, paid, and trooped outside. Her dad put Henry's shoulder bag in the passenger seat. Regina fussed over him too much. To the point of taking his cell out of his jeans’ pocket and leaning into the car to plug it into the charger. Emma pulled him in for a hug first, calling him kid to tease him because he was so grown up. She told him loved him and that she'd miss him. She was a lot better at that stuff now. And after he'd hugged everyone else Regina's hands were on him as though she were unable to let go. She ran a hand through his hair, brushed off some dirt from his shoulder and stroked his cheek, telling him how much she loved him too and how she's so proud. 

They waved him off shouting promises that they'd call soon. Her parents began walking back home with the kids, her mom so far along she's almost waddling. Then it's just her and Regina on the sidewalk. It's so awkward she could burst. 

"Well I'd better be off Miss Swan." 

Emma nearly scoffed at Regina's choice of words. "Did you drink a memory loss potion in there, or did we time travel back to 2012?"

Regina smiled. Again it was bittersweet. "Well Emma seems too informal these days," she replied. And Emma nodded slowly, lips pressed together whilst she tried and failed to think of something to say. That had been another gentle but pointed remark. 

She went back to the station, sat down, and began throwing paperclips into the trashcan by the door whilst she waited for any calls to come in. But it'd been quiet all week and today was no different. So she started leafing through the applications she'd received to cover her dad's job ready for the time off he'd take to help out when their third, no fourth born arrived. It was going to be another boy. When they had found out they had all joked about how they were alternating genders each time to keep things equal. 

Later that afternoon she was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. It was Regina. Holding Sophie in her arms.

"What's going on?" Emma said, rushing over to take her daughter from Regina. "Is she alright?" She kissed her little girl on the forehead.

"She's fine," Regina replied, fussing over the baby for another second or two before stepping back. "Granny was out taking her for a walk when she started feeling unwell. I happened to be the first person she came across." 

"Her heart playing up again?" Emma asked.

Regina nodded. "She went back to the doctor but she should be fine. I'm going to call her later. I contacted all your usual sitters; Ashley, Aurora, Archie... Can’t you hire someone whose name begins with a different letter of the alphabet? Anyway, they’re all busy." 

Emma tried to think of someone she trusted to watch her daughter until her shift finished but the only other person who sprung to mind was Red, who was covering for Granny at the diner again. Granny had been taking time off work since her second heart attack. Emma sighed. She knew what Regina was thinking.

"I can take her," the brunette offered.

Emma didn't want to rub any more salt into the wound she’d already cut so deep. "No, it's fine. My parents can take her."

"They're exhausted. They've got their hands full with a small child and a toddler of their own. I'll stay with her at mine and you can pick her up after work."

Emma didn't really have any other choice. "I'm sorry," she said.

"It's no trouble, really," Regina added, despite knowing Emma wasn't apologising for the inconvenience of babysitting at all. 

Emma cuddled her daughter tight and kissed her forehead again before handing her back over. Sophie yawned; so cute and beautiful. Regina laid her down carefully in the stroller outside the doorway and bid Emma goodbye before heading home. 

The rest of Emma's shift passed without incident. When she arrived at the mansion Regina opened the door and ushered her inside. 

"Look here's mommy," Regina cooed, whilst jiggling Sophie up and down to keep her pacified. 

"I hope she’s been behaving herself," Emma said. She tried not to look too much round Regina's home. It'd been so long since she'd last been over. 

"Of course she has. She's always good when she's with me," Regina answered, smiling at the baby before realising she'd revealed too much. 

"It's ok," Emma said. She never flashed her and Hook's child around Regina to avoid making things worse but she knew Regina saw Sophie sometimes when her mom is looking after her. As long as Regina isn’t caught off guard and can control when she sees her, then of course Emma doesn't have a problem with her spending time with her daughter. Emma wants her to be a godparent after all. She just needs to summon up the courage to ask.

The blonde put a hand on the stroller. "Well, I'd better be off." 

"Stay for dinner," Regina pleads. 

Emma hates it when she does that. She'd love to stay. Really she would. If only Regina knew how much. "I'm sorry," she said. "I can't. Not tonight." 

Regina is always difficult to dissuade. "Well then let me give you some food to take home."

"No really, it's fine,” Emma's little forced laugh is unconvincing even to her own ears. “But thank you." Emma takes her daughter and awkwardly manoeuvres the stroller outside before Regina has a chance to offer help. Emma needs to do everything by herself. She gets why her mom had so much trouble pushing Neal around now. Strollers never seem to go where you want them to, especially where doorways and steps are concerned. But then it’s not like she’s been doing it for very long. Only 8 weeks or so.

Regina lent against the frame and watched her start to walk away. “Why didn’t you bring her this morning?” Regina asked. 

Because she’d told Granny to take her earlier than she needed to, Emma thought to herself. “No reason. Granny came round earlier than planned. I don't think she knows what to do with herself since she was forced to stop working for a while,” she lied.

She was about to continue walking down the path when Regina said something else, more quietly this time. “I've seen the birth certificate Emma. I know she has a middle name." Her voice was choked with emotion; "Why did you name her after me?”


	2. 8 Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly moving forwards. Slowly moving on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content note: Regina grieving Robin  
> I've updated the info at the start of the story to reflect this.

She looks so small. 

That was all Regina could think about as she watched Emma standing on her garden path, drinking the sight of her in. She hadn't dared to ask her such a direct question in a long time. When you were only being met with vague or fake answers what was the point? She'd got the message, loud and clear. But now the pirate was gone and she hoped that meant Emma could climb out of the hole she'd fallen in to. Looking after Sophie this afternoon had emboldened her. 

Her bravery was rewarded with a shy smile. The first real one sent her way in a long time. Regina was almost standing on her tiptoes in anticipation.

"I wanted her to be called after someone in the family," Emma replied.

Regina's face broke into a smile of her own, wide enough to show white. "Good night Swan." Emma would know this time she was only using her surname because she felt like joking. 

"You've got vomit on you," Emma said, shaking her head from side to side as she turned round and walked away.

Regina closed the door and walked into the kitchen to find something to wipe it up with. Her cell started ringing and she chatted with Henry whilst he unpacked for a bit. It was probably a check up call which made her feel guilty; she'd tried to hide her emotions as much as possible when waving him off earlier. However she couldn’t help but feel glad he’d phoned too. He’d spared her from constantly checking her iPhone all evening. 

"Emma should be home now," she told him as she the conversation came to an end. "You should speak to her too."

“Don’t worry mom. I will.” 

Later on she wiped the tears from her eyes as she washed her make up off, brushed her teeth and sat in bed unable to sleep. The first few nights after he left were always the hardest.

-

The leaves had fallen off the trees. It was that time of year again. Christmas was coming. And certain dates like today were always hard to face. Snow had invited her round so she didn’t have to be alone. Regina had a feeling it was so she would play with the kids for a few hours so the parents could take a break too. The newest newborn (hilariously named after Snow’s father) had only been around for a few weeks and the Charmings had moved to a bigger place that could accommodate all of the children.

After lunch the two women sat talking in the kitchen. Regina twiddled the feather Roland gave her round in her hands.

Snow took out some flowers from under the counter and pushed them across the table. “Go and put these on his grave, from me and David.” 

Regina felt tears sting her eyes. There was no way she would have been able to get through this loss without them.

“It’s ok to still want to go you know,” Snow said.

Regina nodded in agreement. “I know but it all feels so weird. I don’t miss him anymore but I guess I'm still grieving everything that never came to be.” 

Snow gave her a look of understanding. “I know.” 

They hugged. The Mayor said farewell and thank you and headed off towards the cemetery. 

She found Emma alone there, lost inside layers of bland oversized clothing. What the hell was she wearing? It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Regina stood watching her from a distance until Emma noticed and jumped up. “Oh. Hi. Sorry.” The blonde started to back away. “If I’d known you were coming I would've…” 

Regina hated being treated like she was diseased. “I’m sick of this Emma,” she interrupted. Bitterness rose inside her and burned. “Don’t you dare leave.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Regina sighed. “Would you stop apologising already. We’ve all told you a hundred times you don’t need to be.” When Daniel had died the pain had consumed her alone. This time she’d seen how hard it was to watch the ones you love be affected by the same bereavement. It turned out you didn’t even have to know someone that well for their death to consume you. Although Regina knew that wasn’t the only thing.

She suddenly felt drained so she gestured back at the bench Emma had been sitting on. “Stay with me a while, please.” She glared at Emma to comply until she slowly took a seat, eyes staring down at the ground. It always broke Regina’s heart to have to try and force her former best friend to talk. The silence was so awkward she could burst. And she was tired of always having to make the first move.

Finally Emma said something. “Thanks for the food.” 

Regina was about to pretend she’d never cooked anything and gotten Snow to give it to her by pretending it was hers. 

“Oh come on!” Emma said. “I can tell the difference. No one bakes quite like you.”

Regina held her hands up in admission whilst hoping Emma had been eating enough but she doubted it. She still looked much too thin. 

“Thanks for tending his grave,” Regina said. “There have been times when it was too painful to come here but whenever I eventually managed to visit it was always spotless.” 

Emma looked like she about to deny it. 

“Oh please. I know it was you. No one in Storybrooke liked him and if it had been your mother there would have been cutesy flowers all over it. She gave me another bunch today!”

“Well it is his birthday,” Emma pointed out. 

Regina was touched that Emma always remembered. She still couldn’t say for sure when Hook’s was. “Yes, but I’m hardly trying to open up a florist now am I?”

“I suppose a cemetery would be a good place. You’d never run out of business.” 

Regina was delighted they’d fallen into joking with each other again. Like they used to. She wanted to see the colour in Emma’s cheeks. Rip her hair from its ponytail and let it fall free. 

She raised the bunch of flowers up slightly. “Put them in with me,” she said. And to her surprise Emma joined her in threading the stalks through the little holes in the metal cover on the headstone without any resistance. When they stood up Regina took the feather out her pocket and played with it in her hands again. 

And she felt like crying again too. This had been going on for much too long. “Avoiding me hasn’t changed anything,” she said. Her soul mate was still dust. Roland was still gone. Zelena still missing after running off with her and Robin’s two year old daughter. (Why did she pick a day to flee when Emma had been the one on witch watching duty?) And Emma didn’t look any happier for trying to force every last little bit of Regina out of her life. So what had been the point?

You could almost understand her way of thinking. Regina knew she felt guilty and had kept away because she didn’t want to rub her ‘happy ending’ in - but what the blonde kept failing to realise was that losing Emma had hurt far, far worse. 

Emma always acted as if everything was fine when they sat through family meals or a monster appeared that needed both of them together to defeat it. But that was all. She was always making excuses not to spend any time with her. She never messaged or called. Pretending she’d suddenly remembered to do something before dashing off in another direction when she saw Regina coming down the street was not unheard of either. 

When Sophie was born Hook helped Emma check out of hospital early before Regina had even had a chance to visit her.

Emma began fiddling with the plastic the flowers had been wrapped in. Her silence was infuriating. 

“Did you hear me?” Regina tried again. “I said avoiding me hasn’t changed anything.” She left the feather on the top of the gravestone and placed a preservation spell around it. She used to carry it with her everywhere. It had been in her purse when she'd tried dating again and for years she'd slept with it in her palm or under her pillow. Now it was time to let it go.

Emma still wasn't making eye contact with her. Regina longed for the some aspect of the person Emma used to be. It was hard loving someone when they were always so distant.

“I know,” the blonde admitted.

“So why don’t you do something different?”


	3. 14 Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reaching out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback most welcome. 
> 
> Thank you for all the support people have given me so far. It's really encouraging.

Emma had been waking early since the start of Fall. 

Today was no different and as soon she came round she checked on Sophie. Her daughter was fine but something wasn't right. The house was freezing. So she picked up her phone and the baby monitor from the bedside cabinet and went to investigate the heating. It looked like the boiler had broken but whatever she tried from Google wouldn't fix it. 

Emma sighed and rubbed her eyes. Despite an hour of failed DIY it was still only 6:30am. And the merest hint of trying to summon magic to fix the problem made her right hand tremor again. With Henry at college there was no boost available to her now. She went back upstairs and sat bleary eyed next to where Sophie was sleeping. Watching the clock and waiting. Thank goodness it was the weekend so she didn't have to worry about going in to work today. She drifted in and out of light sleep.

When it was opening time and she'd got Sophie up, fed, and ready to leave she went over to Granny’s to stay warm until the repairwoman arrived to fix it. She didn’t want to trouble anyone. Her half-finished mug of hot chocolate eventually went cold. Someone placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Good morning."

Emma startled. She hadn't noticed anyone approaching. "Oh. Hi. What are you doing here?"

Regina lent closer to the stroller and tickled Sophie's cheek with the back of her finger. "I was just meeting a friend here for brunch but I'm a bit early. I saw you and thought I would come over and say hi."

Emma looked at her daughter and felt flooded with guilt again. She faked a smile. "Hi." 

Regina waited for a moment, watching, before exhaling loudly and walking back to her own table. A few seconds later Emma realised she'd gone then felt torn between staying or leaving. She packed up and made for the door but as she passed Regina she realised her friend still hadn't arrived. She hovered awkwardly, unintentionally catching The Mayor’s attention. "I could join you," she blurted out, cringing at her own patheticness. "That is, if you don't mind I mean. I'll go when your friend arrives." This counted as doing something different, right?

"You can stay as long as you want," Regina answered as she sat down. The brunette looked weary.

Emma started tapping her middle and index fingers on the table.

"Are we playing another round of 'Asking the Obvious and Lying’?” Regina said. 

Emma dug her nails into her palm as she realised Regina would be a good way to fix her boiler. She took a deep breath. "No, how about 'Asking for a favour and responding' instead?” she tried. 

Regina postponed meeting her friend and came straight over. She started inspecting the boiler. Emma was staring out the window when she thought she heard Regina say something. 

"I said, were you hitting this thing with a wrench? It’s got a massive dent in it." Emma was about to reply when Regina spoke again. "Never mind." She waved her hand over the boiler and used magic to fix it.

"Thank you," Emma said, relieved. Now she didn’t have to worry about finding somewhere warm to take Sophie. She called and cancelled the job booked in with the repairwoman.

"Still having trouble with your magic," Regina pointed out, softly.

Normally Emma could hold everything in and function but the second someone drew attention to something the tears trapped under the surface threatened to fall. She kept blinking. 

"As soon as I try anything I get the saviour shakes again," she confessed.

Regina raised an eyebrow.

"That's what Hook called them," Emma explained. 

"Well you can add that to the long list of reasons why I don't like him." 

The strength of Regina’s feelings on the matter made her smile. They walked back from where the boiler was housed into the living room. Regina looked around again, wincing. "Has he actually taken all of his belongings?"

"Yeah," Emma whispered. Despite what had happened she did miss him. This house was supposed to be for them to live in. Together. Wasn't that what couples should do? Wasn’t it what he had wanted? She lay Sophie on her play mat and sank down onto the couch.

"I always knew that he would never make the shortlist for sainthood but I never thought he would do this,” Regina started saying as she gestured at Emma’s things. “Not after what his father did to him as a child.” She sat down beside her. “Did he say anything, as he was leaving?"

Emma dug her nails into her tips of her thumbs to help keep her talking. "No, not really. He just snapped one day and said he'd had enough." That was the only time he'd hurt her. When he’d grabbed her arm and shaken her after discovering she’d put Regina’s name on the birth certificate instead of what they’d both agreed on. 

"Enough of what, being married to the best woman in town?" Regina looked completely appalled. Seeing her reaction helped make Emma feel a little less like her situation was deserved. 

"I think a few different things had been building for a while,” Emma assuaged. But she could rattle the list off easily. She had cared too much about what Regina was thinking or feeling. She wasn’t honest or open enough with him. She didn’t look happy enough when she was with him. She hadn’t shown him enough affection. Her sex drive wasn’t high enough… None of these things had been for lack of trying. She summarized; “I never could get anything right I suppose.” 

“I feel deeply troubled if that’s what you believe.” Regina gave an angry huff; "Especially when you're doing infinitely better than him." Sophie rolled over onto to her front. Regina put a toy just out of reach to encourage her to try and move. She walked into the kitchen and kept opening and closing cupboard doors until she found what she was looking for. She came back through holding a large jar with both hands and rested it on the coffee table before filling it with some form of light, swirling substance from her hands. There was a clink as she closed the lid and pushed the metal clip down to form an airtight seal. "This'll give off enough heat to keep you warm until your heating gets the temperature up again," she said, pushing it into the middle of the table.

Emma said thank you but she could almost feel Regina burn a hole into her. Confrontation was coming.

"Your cupboards are almost empty," Regina began. "You’re barely eating!”" 

Emma nodded slowly to confirm. There was no point in denying. This was one of the reasons she'd barely had anyone over lately; so they wouldn’t notice she’d been losing her grip on things since Hook had gone. 

"And let me guess,” Regina continued. “You've not really been sleeping either."

The blonde looked down and started pressing her nails into her thumbs again. 

“I’m scared for you Emma.” 

That was nothing, Emma thought. She was utterly terrified. How had she gotten this way? Where every inch of her felt like a burden and her mind was always two steps behind. But she was getting lost in her thoughts again...

“Forget it,” Regina said bitterly, walking towards the front door. 

Except for feeling numb, Emma hadn’t lived with anything other than fear for a long time. But something rushed through her then. She stood. “Will you stop and listen to yourself?” Emma said. “It’s infuriating. It’s always ‘Did you hear what I said’, ‘Fine’, or ‘Forget it’. Stop being so impatient and give me a chance to speak!” 

Regina paused, hands in coat pockets. 

Tears burned at Emma’s eyes again as she willed them not to fall. She could barely get the words out. “I’m trying but you gotta bear with me. I have no idea what is happening inside my mind. The more I try to keep up the further away everything becomes and the more I fall behind.”

Regina apologised. Sophie made a babbling noise and shuffled forward enough to grab the toy. 

Emma ran her hand over the top of her head. Asking for something from someone was so difficult it was almost painful. She addressed the ceiling; “I would love some company, if you don’t mind.” 

Half of Regina looked like she was smiling. The other like she was going to cry in relief. The brunette took her coat off and strode into the kitchen to make some coffee. Emma asked if she did cleaning in addition to cooking and home maintenance. Regina claimed she did for a fee. 

Emma knew she would happily pay the price. 

Steaming mugs were places on the coffee table and Emma scooped Sophie off the floor. The toy was passed to Regina to wiggle in front of her whilst they chatted about Regina’s recent trip to visit Henry. 

Sophie let out a wail to let Emma know she was ready for food. Again. “I’m the only single mother in town,” Emma said as she soothed and fed her. “I knew he was unhappy with me but I never...I never thought he’d leave,” she confessed. 

Regina waited for her to continue. 

“I've tried every single week but I haven’t been able to get hold of him.” A few tears slipped down her cheeks. “I don’t think he’s ever coming back.” 

Regina nudged her with her knee. “Well then it’s a good job you've got me.” She began sharing a few things she’d learned from raising Henry singlehandedly. 

Eventually there was a lull in the conversation. The fact that Regina had cancelled plans in order to stay with her had emboldened her. So Emma asked after something she’d long been curious about; “I'm sorry things didn’t work out with Tiana," she said. "Was it mutual?” Mary Margaret was normally a great source of information, but Emma wasn’t sure if she chose not to share her knowledge on this one or whether Regina had never told her mother in the first place.

“No, it was me," Regina replied. "I chose not to continue it any further.” 

Their relationship had ended around the time Sophie was born. They hadn’t lasted long. About 5 months. Although that was a lot longer than first few people Regina had tried dating. There was another pause as Emma wondered what had happened between them in order for Regina to want to end it. However there was no point in probing. She could sense that Regina didn’t want to talk in depth about it. It was now Regina who was fiddling, and playing with the toy in her hands.

Why did this conversation suddenly feel so tense? 

“I’m sure you’ll find someone,” Emma said. Eager to be supportive. She put the bottle down and began burping Sophie over her shoulder. 

“It’s fine,” Regina replied. “I’ve stopped looking.” 

“What? No. You can’t give up.” Emma was so desperate for Regina to be happy.

The brunette shook her head and smiled. “That’s not what I meant, and it’s not what I’ve done either.” 

“Oh.” Emma said, seeing her in a different light then. Realising just how much she’d grieved and grown and moved on with her life. Yet she still seemed to be waiting for something. “Maybe you could get Tink to use the pixie dust again?” Some kind of source of it must have been replenished with the last curse but Emma wasn’t sure how it all worked. Was Robin always going to be Regina’s soul mate, and in life you only got one? Or was there a new one now he’d passed on? 

Did everyone have one? If so Emma wondered who was her's. She was finally beginning to accept that deep down, she’d known for a long time it wasn’t Killian. 

“I have to confess I used to be very tempted,” Regina said, without smiling. “But then I realised something. That I already knew what it would show me.” 

Envy rose its ugly head. Emma couldn’t bring herself to find out more. Sophie kicked and wiggled in discomfort forcing Emma to stop burping her and hold her sitting on her knee. 

Regina held a thumb out for Sophie to hold. “What about you?” she asked, as Sophie curled her fingers around it and babbled some more. Content after being fed. “Who do you think the fairy dust would lead you to?”


	4. 17 Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly the moment is ripe. They’ve grown close enough these past few months for this to be able to happen. All of the waiting, all of the years spent isolated from Emma were over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback most welcome. :)

It wasn’t a complicated question at all but Regina knew she wouldn’t really get an answer. It was much too soon after Hook had left for Emma to be seriously considering relationships again. 

“Honestly,” Emma answered. “I don’t know. I have this fear that fairy dust wouldn’t lead me to anyone. It would just show me alone.” 

“I can relate to the feeling,” Regina replied, thinking back to the years after Daniel had been ripped away from her. “But that could never be true. Not for you.” Although Regina had a fear of her own; that Hook was actually Emma’s soulmate and their lives would forever be entwined.

Regina had an urge to place a hand in the folds of Emma’s clothing and find out where the fabric ended and the blonde began. Her friend was going to disappear if she didn’t start eating. Regina wondered how much tough love she could get away with. “You’ve got two choices Emma,” she said. I can stay here with Sophie whilst you go grocery shopping or I will go and bring back some food for you.” 

It seemed to take an age for Emma to weigh up each option and decide. Regina pulled her phone out to distract her from getting impatient. She hadn’t realised there was a more serious reason behind Emma’s lack of responses. She’d been misinterpreting it as not wanting to say anything back to her. By now she would have probably flung her hands up in frustration if Emma hadn’t spoken up. But Regina never could keep her mouth shut; “If it affects your decision at all I can promise you I won’t bring back anything unhealthy.” 

Emma handed Sophie over hurriedly. “Alright,” she said grabbing her car keys. “Operation Kitchen is a go.”

A grin crept up on Regina’s face as the front door closed. She sank back into the couch and cuddled Sophie.

-

It was a gloomy day and a stillness had fallen over the town. Regina and Henry drove through empty slushy streets and pulled up at the Charmings’. Emma hadn’t arrived yet so Regina fussed over the food, ‘Baldy Poldy’, and the presents under the tree to keep her mind occupied. It was the first Christmas she’d looked forward to in years. Henry was here. Hook was not. And Emma was talking to her again. This was a big deal. 

Regina took a deep breath when she heard the sound of a key turning in the door. Emma walked in with cheeks flushed pink from the winter air and a bundle of Sophie in her arms. Grey semi circles smudged the skin under her eyes.

“Hey kid, will you take her whilst I go and get the presents?” She pushed Sophie into his arms then winked in Regina’s direction. “I think she needs her diaper changing,” she said, placing the baby bag by his feet. She hurried out of the door leaving a cold blast of air behind her.

Henry held his sister at arm’s length whilst he looked for a space on the floor he could lay her. Once he set her down he wiggled off her hat and jacket and got as far as taking her trousers off and peeking under the diaper before realising his mom was pulling a prank on him. He looked very relieved.

Emma came back in with several bags and handed them to Charming to unpack under the tree. Neal ran up to her and ordered her to take her coat and boots off faster. “I’ve drawn you a picture,” he said, bobbing up and down excitedly. “Do you know what it is?” 

“No, because you haven’t shown it to me yet,” Emma pointed out, laughing. “Can you get it for me?” 

“It’s a car and you and Sophie,” he blurted out, not realising he was ruining the surprise. Snow handed it over so Emma could admire it and compliment him. Regina spotted a wayward Ruth about to put one of Henry’s sneakers in the trashcan so she scooped her up and sat beside Snow. 

“Did Santa bring you some presents?” Emma asked Neal. He nodded. “Then let’s go and open them.” 

She led him by the hand to on the floor next to the tree and looked over at her parents. “Mommy and Daddy said you’re gonna give all yours to me right?” she joked.

“No!” he shrieked.

Regina watched her family start to open their presents and felt ridiculously happy.

 

A few hours later they’d reached the post-presents, post-eating lull of Christmas afternoon. White flakes were drifting to the ground outside but it was too wet for them to settle. Sophie was restless so had been allowed free reign on the wooden kitchen floor. Emma was leaning against the counter keeping an eye on her. Regina left Snow and Charming in front of the TV once their kids had fallen fast asleep; no doubt thoroughly exhausted from being awake so early. She watched Emma for a while before joining her, feeling worried about how deflated she seemed now the excitement of the morning was over.

“So where are you going to hang your work of art when you get home?” Regina asked, nodding towards Neal’s painting now temporally pinned on to fridge. But the blonde was lost to her thoughts. Regina leaned against a nearby counter and raided a box of Emma’s Christmas chocolates whilst she waited for her friend to come back to reality. Her phone buzzed with a message from Henry letting her know he’d arrived at Violet’s house safely. 

“Oh. Hi. Sorry. Didn’t see you there.” Emma said, alerted to Regina's presence by the noise from her phone. She squeezed the edge of the counter top behind her. 

Regina tried to guess what was on her mind. Missing Hook? Memories of sad Christmases from the past? She followed Emma’s line of sight through the archway into the other room towards her family. 

“Mind two steps behind again today?” Regina said, softly.

Emma began biting on her thumb. “Something like that.”

“Well I hate to break it to you, but I think your brother had some help colouring his masterpiece in.”

“How dare you suggest such a thing,” Emma joked.

“And you must have been really busy during the moment he is depicting,” she gestured to the picture again, “You’ve driven off without Sophie.” The blob that represented her appeared to be balanced on some foliage on the side of the road. Stick figure Emma was inside the vehicle, the same size as the driver’s window. 

Emma laughed. “And if you drew me what would the picture be showing?” 

You looking happy, she thought without hesitating. But she opted for humor instead. “You bringing me a glass of wine.” 

Emma looked bitter and defeated. “Well for a failed Saviour that is probably the one happy ending I can actually bring.” She checked her parents weren’t looking and snuck a bottle of wine out the refrigerator for Regina. Her hand dipped back in to fetch a Coke for herself. 

Sophie caught their attention by rocking on her hands and knees. Regina laughed and turned her head to catch Emma’s eye and share the moment with her. “She’s almost got it,” she said. And she was about to reach her hand out to touch Emma’s arm and ask if she was ok when Emma’s phone started ringing. Regina pulled her hand back sharply. 

“Huh, that’s weird,” Emma said, frowning. “It's just silence and breathing.” She hung up and looked at the screen. “Unidentified caller.” The blonde shrugged and went to pick up Sophie who had just fallen forwards on her arms.

Henry came back just before 6 as Regina and Emma were getting ready to leave. Their son looked suspicious yet incredibly hopeful. She had a feeling him and his girlfriend had been scheming again.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could spend Christmas evening together too?” he said.

For a second she was reminded of what he was like when he was younger. Regina could feel his hopefulness. It was comforting. She’d asked Henry to stay with Emma for the next two or three days but the reality is she’d like nothing more than to join them. “Well I’d be happy to go home and pack an overnight bag. You have two guest rooms, right?” 

Emma nodded. “Yeah if you don’t mind coming over.” 

Of course she doesn't. 

Christmas just kept getting better and better. She hummed as she carefully packed her things in her designer holdall. Once she arrived at Emma’s Henry let her in. 

“She’s just bathing Sophie and putting her in the crib,” he explained. 

Regina pinned Neal’s drawing from earlier on Emma’s wall, determined to fill her house with evidence of love and laughter. 

“I thought we could all play board games together,” Henry continued. “Come and help set up.” 

 

Regina hugged a pillow in the guest bed as she struggled to sleep. With Christmas comes the end of the year and it’s always been a time where she reflects on how her life has been. This year Tiana had contacted her online and caught her interest. She was a wonderful combination of smart, and sexy, and fun. Yet Regina wondered whether she would have rushed into dating her if she hadn’t have just found out Emma was pregnant. Probably not.

The tinkle of glass shattering caught her attention. She pushed back the covers and hurried downstairs. Emma was crouching in the kitchen picking up shards from the floor by the skirting board. It looked like the tumbler had hit the wall with some force before landing on the linoleum in pieces. 

“Are you ok?” Regina asked, willing Emma not to push her away. 

Emma nodded slowly. “Yeah. Sorry if I woke you.” 

“It’s fine,” Regina whispered. The words seemed to get caught in her throat. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?” She was scared for her. Really scared.

Emma stood and wrapped the pieces in newspaper before putting them in the trashcan. She lent back against the counter and dug her fingernails into her thumbs before answering. “I’m always exhausted but even when Sophie is in her crib I can never get much sleep.” 

Regina inched closer. She held her palm out to the side and lifted it up slightly to conjure magic to lift the splinters of glass off the floor. She then flicked her hand to the side slightly to make them follow what Emma had already put in the trash. 

“Thank you,” Emma said. A moment passed before continued speaking. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like this.” 

Regina moved so that she was leaning against the counter too. “Well I’m glad you’re letting me. You don’t have to go through anything on your own.” 

Emma, mercifully, looked like she was finally taking the words in. And as impatient as Regina felt she tried to give Emma time to round up her thoughts and decipher them. The brunette started counting. She reached 31 by the time Emma answered. 

“It’s Sophie’s first Christmas,” Emma said quietly. “She should have a father here to see it.” 

Regina simmered with hatred for him. “She should,” she conceded. “But she is still loved and surrounded by family. That’s a wonderful thing, Emma. You’re giving her a great life so don’t be too hard on yourself. She’ll be fine. Henry turned out fine without a father around, didn’t he?”

Emma nodded again. “I just wanted to give her what I never had.” 

Regina leaned a little closer, desperate to comfort her. Their arms were almost brushing. “You are.”

Again, finally, the words seemed to be sinking in instead of sliding off unprocessed. The anxiety and tension washed out of her. “I really lost myself in him, huh?" Her admission was heartbreaking. "Somehow all my self-worth became dependant on whether or not he approved of me," Emma continued. "And now he’s not here…” 

Regina kept trying to focus on the positive side of things. “Maybe his absence gives you space to find yourself again?” 

Emma turned to her, looking grief stricken. “I spent so long trying to give him what he wanted I don’t know who I am anymore.” She gestured at the spot where the glass was thrown. “Now I feel so angry at myself for letting it happen to me." A few tears slipped down her cheeks. “And so ashamed. And now I have no idea how to fix me.” 

If she ever sees Hook again Regina does not know what she will do to him. 

And suddenly the moment is ripe. They’ve grown close enough these past few months for this to be able to happen. All of the waiting, all of the years spent isolated from Emma were over. She seemed like she wanted more contact. Like she was finally ready to try and let her in. Regina closed the distance between them and pulled her in fiercely. “You aren’t broken!” she replied, the wobble in her voice revealing way too much emotion. The tightness of her arms conveying how much her best friend is loved. 

Several minutes later Regina had to accept that she couldn't hug Emma all evening. She sniffed. Then took a step back before cupping Emma's cheek and wiping the tears with her thumb. “Shall I mix you up a sleeping draught?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the themes covered in the fic resonate with you, a blog called Captain Awkward might be of some use. 
> 
> It's given me a lot of good advice for depression, friendships, relationships, and dealing with abuse. 
> 
> I recommend browsing topics in the archives: 
> 
> https://captainawkward.com/archives/
> 
>  
> 
> Posts filed under abuse tag: 
> 
> https://captainawkward.com/category/abuse/


	5. 17-21 Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They sat in companionable silence for a while. Emma found herself relaxing. She rested her head on Regina’s shoulder. It took great courage to put words to the things she felt. “I’m glad we’re hanging out again.” 
> 
> "Me too." Regina said.
> 
> The silence continued a little longer.
> 
> “I’ve missed you,” Emma said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I messed up my numbers, so I've changed the title of the last chapter to 17 weeks. Sorry.
> 
> And now my google search history is full of divorce, annulment, and child development. 
> 
> Thanks for subscribing and waiting. <3

**17 Weeks**

Regina let her arm fall back to her side when Emma shook her head. The brunette looked exasperated. Emma used her cuffs to wipe her cheeks. Crying in front of other people was so embarrassing. And she felt shocked. Stunned even. Having someone catch a glimpse of what was going on inside her head made her feel like she’d been ripped open. Her life was such a mess.

"Hey I'm not rejecting your help," Emma said, noticing the look in Regina's eyes. It honestly seemed like a good idea to give sleep one last try before resorting to any kind of medication. She'd only just realised how much she'd been tensing her shoulders and let them drop. A sign perhaps that her body was finally ready to rest. She hoped so. "I think talking with you has helped." She pulled the elastic out of her hair and tidied up her ponytail. "How about if I'm not asleep in an hour I come and get you."

"Are you sure?" Regina asked. "Because it really won't take long for me to brew."

"I'm not gonna be able to convince you to get back into bed, am I?"

Regina shook her head slightly and didn't move. In fact she looked quite shaken from their conversation too. "Alright", the brunette said as she stepped over to the coffee machine. "One hour it is then." 

Emma picked up a blanket that was draped over the back of the couch. She threw it over herself and curled up with her head on the armrest. 

She had assumed Regina would take the armchair rather than the space left at the other side of the couch but there she was, sitting right next to her. Emma was still reeling. Still thinking about Regina's arms around her and how her hand had touched her face. Her actions had been so intimate. Emma had felt like life was spiralling out of control but Regina had anchored her. Emma was starting to realise how much she cared.

Her heart rate began to slow and she stretched out so her feet were touching Regina's thigh. But despite trying to still her mind Emma began worrying about herself again. And what if Sophie woke? Would Regina be ok to take care of her?

The brunette placed a hand over her ankle. "I can hear you thinking," she said softly. "So stop." The weight of her hand felt nice. Reassuring. Emma shuffled into a more comfortable position. Finally her breathing slowed too and her eyelids began to droop. She dreamed she was drowning in an ocean. No land. No boats. 

Henry shook her awake the next morning. "Come on mom, if you sleep any longer you'll miss lunch."

 

**18 Weeks**

And there was the knock at the door she'd been expecting. Less than an hour ago Emma had messaged her mother to say she wasn't joining them for the New Year ‘party’ and now one of her parents was on her doorstep. 

It was her father. She held the door open she he could come in. "Hey Emma, how's it going?"

"Fine thanks. And you?"

"All good. I was just heading back home from the store-"

_Sure he was._

"-when your mother told me you were planning on staying home this evening. What’s going on?" 

She rubbed her eyes. It wasn’t like she had suddenly changed her mind. She’d been telling them all week she wanted to stay at home tonight. "I feel exhausted. All I want to do is sleep." He had a baby too. And two other children. Surely he understood. 

"Well I hate to say it but your mother’s a little disappointed. You know how we feel about special occasions. They're for all the family."

"Look dad, thank you for coming round. I know that you and mom mean well but I would still rather go to bed ridiculously early and get a good night's sleep." She felt like a zombie. "Taking care of myself isn't so bad, is it?" She was determined not to cave in. 

"No," he conceded with a sad smile. "I guess not."

“And it’s not like I haven’t seen you all week.”

But her mom messaged her again later that evening anyway to say they were missing her and that it wasn't too late to join them. Emma shoved her cell under her pillow and wondered why it was always such a struggle to put her needs first. 

Fireworks woke them up later in the evening followed by a flurry of message alerts. One was from Regina. A simple ‘Happy New Year’.

Emma smiled and picked up Sophie before going to peer out the window. She had a great view of the town from her bedroom and watched explosions light up the sky for a while. Her thumb hovered over the screen of her cell. “What shall we say to her Sophie, hmmm?” Her daughter dribbled on her in response. Emma wiped it off unamused. “I was hoping for something a little more useful.” She kissed Sophie on the forehead. Being in contact with Regina for something other than business like messages discussing Henry or town emergencies was still a relatively new thing. She didn’t want to ruin it.

‘You too.’ she typed, feeling optimistic. ‘We’re gonna have a great one.’

She noticed the infamous three dots pop up for a while, but a reply never came.

 

**19 Weeks**

It was time for Henry to head back to college again. The ritual of a family meal at Granny’s before he set off continued. Neal was having great fun with the new set of crayons he got for Christmas. Ruth had been chewing on Emma’s car keys for quite a while before she realised. She tried to prize them out of her hands without making her sister cry.

“Stop laughing at me,” she told Regina, who always seemed to have a sixth sense as far as toddlers and babies were concerned. These kinds of things never happened to her.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” she smirked. 

Emma tossed her napkin at her. Regina used magic to fling it back in her direction. Henry looked a lot happier about the relationship between his moms.

As they all trooped outside it was once again so painful to watch Regina wave Henry off. Emma would miss him for sure. But it never felt quite as bad after Christmas as it did after he’d been home all summer. She didn’t have as long to get used to him. “I've decided to cut my hours down to part time," she said. "And now Sophie’s older it will be a lot easier for me come and visit. I’ll come and see you soon.”

Her parents began walking home with the kids. Two were being carried and one was running in front pretending to be law enforcement. Then it was just her and Regina on the side walk. Mercifully it was a lot less awkward.

"Well I'd better be off," Regina said.

“I disagree.” Emma was enjoying their new found closeness. 

Regina had a glint in her eye. “Oh really?” 

“Yeah, you should spend the rest of the afternoon with us.”

“Alright, what do you need?” Regina teased.

“Nothing!”

They set off walking down the street huddled up in hats and scarves against the cold. Regina invited her for some payday drinks that were being held in a few weeks’ time. Emma said she would go if she could find someone to look after Sophie.

 

**21 Weeks**

She dashed round the house with a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth, trying to make sure everything was easily to hand for her sitter. Sophie was propped up against some cushions on her play mat waving a toy around whilst blowing raspberries. It was very funny. And endearing.

“Call me if you have any questions or if you need anything.”

“I will.”

“Anything at all.” Emma spat in the sink of the downstairs bathroom then chucked her toothbrush in. Grace would be fine, she reassured herself. She may be a teenager but she was smart and responsible. Plus she didn’t charge too much and had the distinction of being the only person available. “Even if it doesn’t seem that important,” she added. 

“You’re already running late Emma. I’ll be fine. Now go,” Grace laughed. 

Emma stepped inside the bar and looked around for someone she recognised. Abigail, Red, and Belle were sat at a large table along with a lot of other people she barely knew. Regina was chatting animatedly to those sat next to her. The brunette had amassed a lot of friends since Henry started going to college. Too bad the same couldn’t be said for herself. Hook had always complained if she spent too many evenings without him.

Emma grabbed a beer from the bar and walked over. “Hey,” she said. “Got room for one more?” 

“Absolutely,” Red said, looking delighted. “What an unexpected pleasure.”

Emma knew she was really out of the loop. “Well that’s motherhood for you, right? This is the first time I’ve properly been out drinking since Sophie was born.” Those within earshot cheered and clinked their drinks against her bottle. "Freedom!" they joked.

After catching up with her friends, Belle asked about the possibility of getting an annulment. 

“I’ve looked into it,” Emma sighed, “but seeing as I wasn’t forced, drunk, his relative, under-age, mentally ill or lied to, it’s gonna be a little tricky.” She thought of Sophie; “I can hardly claim impotence or infertility either.”

“Well you can file for a divorce any time,” Red said. She took off her beanie and started passing it round. “Emma’s get rid of Hook for good fund,” she shouted. 

Emma couldn’t help but grin.

Whilst she carried on chatting to the people next to her Emma noticed that Regina kept looking over. She was about to ask someone to swap places so she could sit nearer when Tiana showed up. Regina turned round in her seat to have a conversation with her. Emma craned her neck to get a better view. It seemed that Tiana was here with her own group of friends and had just come over to say hello. They must have parted on good terms, Emma thought as she drained her beer and went outside for some air. But there were still some things she would rather not see. 

She perched on the windowsill of the bar and crunched the frost beneath her feet. After checking her phone again Emma noticed someone was stood watching her.

“Leaving so soon?” 

Emma smiled as she recognised who the voice belonged to. “Not without saying goodbye to you.” 

Regina walked over and joined her, so close their sides were touching. “I hope no one scared you away.” 

“Oh so that’s why you’ve been looking at me all evening. Checking up on me huh.”

“No, I’m just not used to seeing you with your hair down.” Regina briefly stroked it. “It looks nice. More…you.” 

“Thank you.” 

They sat in companionable silence for a while. Emma found herself relaxing. She rested her head on Regina’s shoulder. It took great courage to put words to the things she felt. “I’m glad we’re hanging out again.” 

"Me too." Regina said.

The silence continued a little longer.

“I’ve missed you,” Emma said quietly. She felt Regina bristle beneath her. “What is it?” she asked. 

Regina exhaled sharply. “Are you kidding me?”

Emma’s heart rate shot up. “What? No. I was just trying to express how I felt.” 

“There must be something new in the air then.” 

“Regina,” she laughed nervously. “I don’t get what you’re-”

“Oh come on!” The brunette stood up. “Are you really going to sit there and pretend you didn’t spend years blocking me out of your life?” Her voice was trembling slightly. “You turned down every offer to socialise. You refused to speak to me unless you absolutely had to, and now you’re just sat there with the audacity to tell me that you felt sad about it.” She pulled her coat tighter to ward off the cold and her voice quietened in anger. “How dare you.”

Her words terrified her. And they stung. “That’s not entirely fair.” Emma said, unsure as to why she was trying to defend herself.

“How so?” 

“Your soul mate had just died from events **I** put into motion. And I was trying not to rub your face in the fact that a god had just resurrected my boyfriend at your partner’s funeral out of gratitude for getting rid of his evil brother despite the fact that he barely had anything to do with it.” No one could say their lives weren't complicated. 

“Well you went completely the wrong way about it.”

Emma joined her in standing. “Well it's not like you were completely innocent. You distanced yourself from me too, in the beginning.”

Regina looked offended. “Yes, because you were acting like a complete idiot. Walking on eggshells round me like I was about to explode into being the Evil Queen again." There was a bitterness in her voice now. "So forgive me for needing a little break from that.”

Emma was on a slippery slope. She tried to justify her actions. “I’m sorry I just,” she struggled to find the words. “I just thought that losing Robin might trigger something.” Why? Why had she thought that? It seemed so stupid now.

“You were my best friend,” Regina said. “We’d always been there for each other. Then you suddenly stopped trusting me for no real reason.” 

Emma felt crushed. She’d never thought of it that way before. What had she done?

Regina continued; “My love had just sacrificed himself to keep me alive and my sister was raising his child. Roland was gone too and I needed you. I needed you more than anything but you weren’t there. I had just been to hell for you, and you couldn’t even believe in me in return.” 

“Regina I’m, I’m so sorry.” She was desperate to fix this.

The brunette took a deep breath and rubbed her forehead. She stepped a few paces away before continuing. “No, I am. It’s your first night out. I shouldn’t have aired any issues. But something inside of me snapped when you-.”

They were interrupted by Emma’s phone. It was Grace. She held her cell to her ear.

“I’ve been trying for about an hour but I can’t get Sophie to stop crying,” she said. “Do you think you could come home?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Subscribe! There's a kiss in the next chapter, promise.


	6. Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma walked over. “And then what?”
> 
> Regina turned round and placed a hand on the side of Emma’s face. She brushed her thumb against her cheek. “This, I suppose,” she whispered, closing her eyes and closing the distance between them until their lips were touching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Delay because I went to SBUK2 and got a hug from Archie Hopper. Then there was a Swen meet up.  
> Thank you for waiting.

**21 Weeks**

Emma hung up and looked over apologetically. “I’m so sorry, I gotta get this. It’s my sitter. She can’t calm Sophie.”

Regina cursed that Grace had interrupted them. Even if they’d only had another 10 minutes it would have given her time to sort things out. Now it would have to wait. And this was the kind of conflict you really didn’t want to give time to stew. Both of them had been drinking tonight but there was no point in calling a cab when you knew quicker ways to get home. “I’ll take you back,” Regina offered. She took Emma by the forearm and used her magic to transport them home.

“Thank you.” Emma hurried up to the front door but paused before heading in, reluctant to leave things unresolved. “I’m sorry we didn’t get chance to finish talking. I’d invite you in but-”

“It’s a bit difficult to talk when a baby is screaming the house down,” Regina finished. Poor Grace. She could hear Sophie from outside. She forced a smile. “It’s alright, you know I understand.”

“Night,” Emma said.

“I’ll see you soon.” 

Regina watched the front door close. Despite their heated discussion she couldn’t help but chuckle a little at Emma’s predicament. It made her feel relieved that those days were over for her. Whilst there was a loneliness to being single she was happy to play the role of fun family member and sitter. It meant you could hand the children back when they became too troublesome and tiring. Or when their diapers were filled.

She transported herself back to the bar and walked inside to use the toilet. She was mulling over when her next chance to talk to Emma would be whilst washing her hands when Tiana walked in. The dark skinned woman began touching up her make up in the mirror.

“I always wondered why you broke up with me for seemingly no reason,” Tiana said. “And then I wondered why half a year later you still hadn’t found anyone. But it makes sense now.”

Regina frowned. Was it obvious? The looks across the table and following Emma out of the bar must have clued Tiana in. She wondered whether anyone else had noticed.

“Why don’t you tell her how you feel?”

Regina faltered, trying to come up a reasonable explanation. “Well she’s…had a lot going on. She’s needed time to sort herself out. Not someone pestering her for a date.” She yanked a few paper towels from the dispenser and dried her hands. There was nothing wrong with that. It was the truth.

Tiana raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. So what does she need now?”

“More babysitters, probably,” she joked, not wanting the conversation to become too revealing. Emma’s love life was a subject she tried not to dwell on too much. Past experience had taught her how much it hurt. It was better to live a full and busy life instead.

Tiana put her make up back in her bag. “Well your fortunes have changed. Don’t wait until it’s too late,” she said as she was leaving. “My partner was thinking about getting back with their ex when I asked them out. Didn’t realise I was interested.”

Regina gave Tiana a chance to return to her table before leaving the restroom herself. She chatted to Abigail, Red, and Belle for a while before calling it a night. Emma’s reactions to what she’d said earlier had been playing on her mind too much to enjoy other people’s company. Regina felt ashamed her emotions had surfaced so easily. Emma had seemed so upset. More patience was clearly needed. And if she’d kept her mouth shut earlier she could have enjoyed sitting with Emma’s head on her shoulder a little longer. It was vital to get these kinds of things right. Chances didn’t present themselves very often. 

But then friendships worked both ways. It had been so long since Hook had left before she’d said anything. If it hadn’t have burst out how long would she have held her tongue? Would Emma have ever realised?

She was just in the middle of typing a message to her when the Circles alert tone sounded. All but three people in her contact list were a standard beep so she knew right away it was Emma. Henry had his own tone too. Snow’s was a klaxon. She abandoned her message and went straight to the blonde’s. A photo of a red faced but sleeping child appeared. The caption read ‘Ta da!’ and featured a smiley face.

Regina grinned and saved the picture to a folder marked ‘Sophie’. She messaged back a thumbs up emoji and got ready for bed, relieved that her earlier words didn't seem to have caused Emma to push her away again yet. Regina resolved to find her tomorrow and talk things over. She told herself it would be fine, but she still slept fitfully.

The next morning she hurried up the path to Granny’s to get out of the rain. She was surprised to find Emma inside with Snow. They’d swapped daughters and Neil was playing under the table. Crying came from one of the strollers nearby. Granny walked over and slung ‘Baldy Paldy’ over her shoulder in her usual no nonsense manner. It was good to see her well enough to work again – even it was just to train a new manager so she could retire. Red was making up Emma’s hours at the station now David was back from paternity leave. 

Granny pointed over to a few brown bags on the counter.

“Thank you.” Regina said, after collecting the one that had her name on it.

“It won’t be long before half the town is related to Snow,” Granny joked, nodding towards all the children.

“Good job I’ve changed then. Otherwise I’d be very busy.” Regina joked. She could see that Emma was too occupied for a heart to heart so it would have to wait until later as she'd originally planned. She bid everyone goodbye.

“You should come to Miles of Smiles,” Regina heard Snow saying on the way out.

“Mom, I’ve already told you I’m not going to the same baby group as you.”

Regina smirked as she stepped outside and dashed back to the car.

She was just finishing her lunch when the doorbell rang. Cooking wasn’t so pleasant for one. You just spent days eating the same leftovers. So she liked to treat herself to something else on Sundays.

It was Emma. The blonde held up a brown paper bag in her hand. “You forgot desert. Granny gave you some for free.” 

“Oh, what a nice surprise.” It must have been a gesture of thanks for the ongoing help Regina had given her whilst she’d been having heart problems. An awkward silence filled the air. Both wanted to revisit yesterday's discussion but weren't sure how. Emma shivered in the rain.

“Can we talk?” Emma said, at the same time as Regina blurted out "Want to come in?"

“Of course,” Emma said. "Help me with the stroller.”

The fact that she'd asked for assistance was not lost on her. Wet puddles grew on the wooden floor as Emma took off her coat and picked Sophie up. Regina couldn’t resist teasing her about what she overheard earlier. "So when's the next Miles of Smiles meet up?” 

"Miles of Trials more like," Emma grumbled, half laughing. "Anyway I just started going to the parent and baby group at the gym so it's not like I need another one."

Regina had missed the news. She'd been determined to focus on own life by only seeing Emma once or twice a week (not including the times she ran into her by accident). But she was happy to hear it. Socialising with other moms could only be a good thing. Emma had been very isolated in the past year. She probably had more people willing to help than she could count - but Regina doubted any of those were friends Emma felt she could confide in. 

Regina was leading Emma through to the kitchen when the blonde suggested the sitting room would be more comfortable. Regina was forced to agree. It would have looked strange to insist otherwise. Emma hovered near the doorway. It had been years since she'd been this far inside her home so she could understand the hesitation. It had been overwhelming for her too the first time she first went round to Emma's after Sophie was born. She’d spent a lot of time taking everything in.

"Look who's gotten sentimental," Emma said, nodding towards the photographs scattered around the room. The first night she'd ever visited Regina's house there hadn't been a single one.

If she’d known Emma was coming over she would have taken some of them down. There were family shots of the all of the Uncharmings, and her and Henry. There were also pictures of her holding various different newborns as well as photos of Emma and their son (with Hook often strategically cropped out). Henry was always good about getting photos with his mom and passing them on. 

Something caught Emma’s attention and she walked over to the mantelpiece, shifting the weight of Sophie in her arms to get a better hold of her. She was getting heavier now. “A wedding photo, really?” It was one of the professional shots taken by the photographer. 

“Yes, I got it from our son because the bride didn’t give me one,” she said, pointedly but playfully.

“You've burnt Hook’s face off.”

“It really improves the shot.”

Emma started laughing. "Serves him right for leaving."

"Oh I did that long before he left," she confessed. 

“Really?” Emma looked over at her for so long Regina announced she was going to get coffee to break the tension. As she waited for the kettle to boil Emma walked in and leant against the door frame. 

"You've got a lot of photos of me," she said quietly.

Emotion choked Regina's answer for a second. "Well…you're family." She busied herself getting mugs and forks and plates knowing Emma's eyes were on her once more. When she looked inside the paper bag she saw a receipt stuck to one of the slices of cake inside. Regina peeled it off and kept it hidden. Emma must have bought them after she'd left. Granny would have slipped the receipt in without asking Emma if she wanted it first. 

They walked through to the sitting room again. Emma sat sideways on the sofa and propped Sophie up with cushions in between them. 

“Did Red give you the money she collected?” Regina asked. She was curious to know the final amount.

“Yeah $210. Can you believe it? Someone even put a fifty in there. I guess everyone wanted to help out.”

“Of course they did.” 

Regina was eager to catch up. Grace's interruption meant she hadn't had much time to speak to Emma outside the bar. And she’d resisted chatting with her earlier so she could to talk to others by herself and socialise on her own terms. “How’s part time working out for you?”

“Oh it’s great. It’s giving me a lot more time to spend with Sophie. And sleep. And go to the gym. And do pretty much anything that used to make me feel human."

And it showed. Even after just a few weeks. She was still run down but it was more ‘new mom tired’ instead of the classic zombie look. She hoped the extra time would give Emma and Sophie more chance to bond. 

They chatted about work and Emma's visit to Henry the following weekend but Emma was barely listening. She still hadn’t touched dessert. 

“Look about what you said yester-” 

Regina interrupted with an apology.

Emma took the conversation back in return. “No, let me finish. Yes, your sense of timing sucked. But I was thinking about this all last night.” She looked upset again, and addressed her lap rather than making eye contact. “It was something you’d clearly needed to say to me for a while. And I see it now. I feel terrible for what I’ve put you through.” Emma hesitated. This time Regina waited, twiddling her fork in her fingers. Her mouth suddenly dry. “I’m so sorry about everything,” Emma continued. She looked up. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you.” 

Regina put her fork and plate on the coffee table and placed a hand on Emma’s knee. That she could acknowledge and apologise for this would go a long way towards repairing the damage. Nothing had been magically fixed. They both knew it. It was going to take time to bridge the hurt and distance between them. But now Emma has heard what she needed to say she knows their friendship can keep growing stronger again.

“Thank you,” Regina said. “I needed to hear that." She offered Emma a smile. "How about we start over?”

“I'd like that.” Emma said, looking a lot calmer. She smiled back at her.

"Me too." 

They finished their coffee and cake. Once Regina had wiped the crumbs from her mouth she grabbed a toy out of the box in the corner and started playing with Sophie. Relief flooded through her again. Knowing that this period of being shut out is over never failed to warm her heart. She no longer had to watch Emma be so unhappy whilst remaining powerless to stop it. It was so liberating.

 

**23 Weeks**

Another week, another ladies night out. Regina triple checked her appearance before leaving the house. 

"Did you file?" Red asked before Emma had even sat down. 

The grin on Emma's face revealed the answer. "Did it first thing Monday morning." She pulled up a chair.

Regina handed over the beer she'd bought ready for Emma’s arrival and enjoyed the joyous feeling that spread inside. It was Emma's choice. She'd been careful not to prompt her one way or another. But there was no doubt this was the outcome she'd been hoping for. She'd been the one to put the fifty dollars in the hat when no one was looking.

"So…any news?" Red asked.

"About what, the divorce?"

She waggled her eyebrows. "No, your love life!"

"No, definitely no news," Emma laughed. "But if you know anyone who is single then send them my way. It's been a while.” Emma glanced over at Regina and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“You must be getting some interest,” Red said.

“Well…yeah. Kinda,” she shrugged.

Regina took a deep breath and tried to act like her words didn’t sting. 

“Another guy started to hit on me last week," Emma continued. "Then ran a mile when I mentioned Sophie," she said bitterly.

“You’ll find someone,” Regina encouraged.

Red asked the same question to their other friends sat round the table. Regina only realised she'd missed their answers when it was her turn to respond. "Still no one since my last relationship," she said.

"Speaking of which..." Red started saying. 

Regina tensed up, unsure as to what the brunette was implying.

"You two spent a looong time in the toilets together the last time we all went out for drinks." Red was clearly a little tipsy. “Alone. Then you left separately like you were trying to hide it.” Everyone at the table was now looking at her. Some were chuckling in the excitement of a new scrap of reluctantly revealed information. 

"A few minutes is hardly a long time," Regina said sharply. "She just happened to come in when I was washing my hands, that's all."

"It looked like Tiana followed you in from where I was sitting," Red said, looking round at the others like she was tipping them off to a special secret. 

Regina couldn't believe Red was pursuing this. "I broke up with her," she emphasised. "Over half a year ago. Now she's seeing someone else. So please refrain from petty gossip. Otherwise I’ll get Granny to put wolf stew on the menu."

When Emma had walked out of the bar during their last drinks' night the timing had been interesting, but Regina couldn't put her behaviour down to anything without speculating. Tonight it was clear talking about Tiana had wiped her smile. The blonde was now picking the label off her beer bottle. Regina managed to steer the conversation away to something else but Emma lasted less than half an hour before heading home. 

The following hour was spent trying to fight the urge to go round. 

She caved. Excuses to leave were made. She bought take out before heading over. The rain was bitterly cold against her face. She hoped she hadn’t left it too late in the evening as she walked up the garden path and rang the bell. The swing of the front door opening made her jump. Emma was stood in her pyjamas with her hair tied in a messy bun. “What’s happened? Is something wrong?” 

“No, I just…Well you left early and I wondered if you wanted some more company.” Her voice trailed off as she held the bag of food up slightly. _What had she been thinking?_

"Oh," Emma yawned. “Well I was just trying to get Sophie to settle but erm, come on in.” 

Regina felt like she’d done the wrong thing. “I could always stop by another time.” 

Emma shook her head and walked away leaving the door open. Regina followed her inside and unpacked the containers on the coffee table whilst Emma went back upstairs. Her pyjamas consisted of checked pants and a tight vest top. She couldn’t help but appreciate the sight. It had been a long time since she’d seen that much of Emma's skin. When she collected some plates and cutlery from the kitchen she peeked in the cupboards to check there was food; no forced shopping trips required. Emma’s voice drifted down from upstairs but she couldn’t make out what she was singing. Finally Sophie had settled enough for Emma to return. The blonde started to tidy up whilst they made awkward conversation. 

“You left early,” Regina stated.

“Hard to believe I was once a party animal,” the blonde joked. 

“What Red was saying tonight,” Regina began, heart pounding. “It was just gossip. There was no merit to it.” She needed Emma to know this.

Emma picked up some dirty pots. “You don’t need to explain anything. What you do in your life is your own business.” Emma wondered off into the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher.

Regina followed, “But my business seems to have bothered you a lot,” she prompted, gently. She hoped what Emma said next would be something she wanted to hear.

Instead all she got was a question; “Why did you break up with her?”

Regina hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. “I realised something. Then I needed some time to process it. Plus it didn’t seem fair to stay with someone I cared for but didn’t love.”

“Oh. Well I guess that makes sense then. If that’s the way you felt,” Emma said, looking happier yet pensive about what Regina might have realised. She shut the door and pressed start. “Well thanks for the take out,” Emma said. “It smells good. I’m actually a lot hungrier than I realised.” They walked back through and sat on the sofa. Regina wondered whether she should have said something more. They made small talk and shared news about their workplaces. It wasn’t long before Sophie started crying again. Emma put down her plate and went upstairs. Her eating speed had been quite impressive. She’d nearly demolished her oversized portion already.

“Hey, Regina!” Emma shouted a few minutes later from upstairs. “Can you bring up the wipes from the bag in the kitchen?” Regina found them, walked upstairs and handed them over. “Did Henry scar you life when he filled his diapers?” Emma asked.

Regina could only nod and laugh. “Must be something in your genes.” 

“Careful what you say or I’ll make you change the next one.” 

“In your dreams Swan,” she said as she moved into the hall to escape the smell. She could hear the rain hammering down outside so walked over to the window. She should probably go home soon so she wouldn’t outstay her welcome.

“Alright stinky pants. Back in the crib you go,” Emma said when she’d finished. She dimmed the lights and closed the door behind her as stepped out of the nursery. She leaned against the wall and watched Regina looking at the rain outside.

“So...you came round to tell me you don’t have any feelings for your ex,” Emma said slowly. Regina’s heart started racing again. Emma choose her next words carefully. “Was there anything else you wanted me to know?” 

“No, not really. I just wanted to…spend some more time with you.” Regina sighed at how lame that sounded. 

Emma walked over. “And then what?” 

Regina turned round and placed a hand on the side of Emma’s face. She brushed her thumb against her cheek. “This, I suppose,” she whispered, closing her eyes and closing the distance between them until their lips were touching. Panic spilled through her when Emma pulled her head back slightly and took a breath. Regina wouldn’t be able to bear it if that was all she could taste.

But seconds later she reciprocated and she felt Emma’s hands on her waist. Regina slid her hand round to the back of Emma’s head as the kiss continued. Soft warm lips against hers. It felt so good. She'd been keeping track of the days by counting how long it had been since Hook had left. Perhaps she should mark time differently from now on. She kissed Emma harder and moved closer so their bodies were touching. 

Yet she was surprised too. This wasn’t as joyous as she’d expected. Instead it brought home just how long she’d wanted something to happen between them. She sucked Emma’s bottom lip into her mouth and let it slip out slowly between her teeth. 

Emma pushed against her slightly to indicate for her to stop. Regina opened her eyes and stepped back reluctantly. The blonde put her thumbs in her pyjama pockets. The look on her face wasn't good; she was almost squirming in discomfort. “Could we maybe head back downstairs?” she asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback always welcome. I love to hear what you think.


	7. About 3 Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma's taking back control and letting go.
> 
> -
> 
> “I was the last to know,” Regina just about managed to whisper. Like her, The Mayor rarely shared her deepest feelings. Emma felt reassured that she was choosing to now. Even if the words were hard to hear. They were slowly becoming partners in all things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writes draft. Still not right.  
> Writes draft. Still not right.  
> Writes draft. Is up all night.
> 
> I'm *so* sorry for making you wait so long. Please don't worry, this story will get finished eventually. Thanks for sticking by me. Wishing you all the best for 2017. X

**23 Weeks**

Emma tried to concentrate on putting a foot down on each stair rather than how awkward it was or how Regina must be feeling. They were going in the wrong direction. You were supposed up, not down. Not further away from the bedroom.

She’d realised enough to suss out why Regina had come round. But when she’d asked in the hallway about what her friend had been thinking she’d expected a conversation not a kiss. Not like that. It was loving but there was no way she could miss the need behind it. And it was too much for her to deal with right now.

They stood next to each other by the couch.

“Emma, I’m sorry. I let my impulses get the better of me.”

She wanted to let her down gently. “It’s fine. Really. Just a lot to take in.” 

Regina tried to look like she was handling the situation with ease. 

“I mean. I thought you might like me,” Emma continued, “because of the way you’ve been behaving lately…” 

Regina hugged her own arms, hanging on to every word. 

“…and because you have a freakishly large amount of photos of me in your house.” Emma’s not sure what she’s even trying to communicate. “More than Snow actually, which makes it an even more impressive achievement.” 

“I have conquered realms in less time than it is taking for you to finish explaining whatever it is you’re trying to say,” Regina said, smiling sadly. 

“Right,” Emma replied, thinking about how their lips had just been touching. “I suppose I’m still getting used to the idea.” It hadn't been unpleasant. “Maybe you could you give me some time?” she asked. Her head was swimming; divorce, Sophie, work, sleep. 

“Of course.” Regina looked crestfallen. 

"I’m sorry,” Emma said as the guilt crept in. Regina was hurting again. 

“Don’t be. You never have to apologise for the way you feel with me.”

Sometimes you don’t realise how badly you’ve been treated until someone shows you how things can be done differently. Over the past year Emma has learnt so much from Regina. With Hook everything used to be the wrong answer. Now she felt safe. She wouldn’t be emotionally punished for speaking up about her needs. 

“I should have checked in with you before kissing you," Regina said. "And speaking of things I should do...I’d better go.” She picked up her coat and slipped it on. 

Emma wished she would stay. "Aren't you gonna finish your food?" she tried, gesturing towards the plates on the coffee table.

Regina glanced towards the door. "It's getting late."

“Well thanks for coming round,” Emma said. "See you soon?" 

“I hope so.” 

The house suddenly felt too empty. Emma scraped some food off Regina’s plate onto hers but she fell asleep on the sofa before finishing it. She woke a few hours later. 

After tidying up she switched the lights off and went upstairs. Sophie was sleeping soundly. In her own room there was a piece of paper showing the first half of the year stuck on the back of the door. She used to count how long it had been since Hook walked out on her. Now her attention was focused on May. She drew a cross through Saturday and went to bed. 

Emma headed to the gym the next morning. A small group of moms and dads took it in turns to watch each other's kids in a side room whilst the rest of them used the equipment. There were plans to start a buggyfit meet up in the spring and absolutely no group singing. It was good to hang out with the other parents before her turn to go in. 

She walked back into the changing room once she'd showered and opened her locker.

"...she's had a tough year. And it can't be easy on your own," she overheard one of the moms saying from around the corner.

Emma paused to listen. 

"Doesn’t matter why, she’s still not parenting properly,” another woman said bitterly. “It’s like watching a robot going through the motions. Her poor daughter."

She heard the creek of changing room door as they left. Emma quickly pulled the rest of her clothes on, picked up Sophie, and said goodbye to the other parents. Her hair was still wet. Playground pettiness had never been her thing.

Emma returned home to some unexpected news; one of her contacts had emailed her about a lead. She stared at the screen in shock whilst jiggling Sophie on her lap. Years of drawing blanks meant this discovery was a big deal. She transferred some more money over. More information was needed before she could decide on the best course of action. She dug out a battered file from one of her desk drawers feeling relieved she could finally update it. A little seed of hope had been planted. This could be a chance to fix at least one of the things she’d fucked up so badly.

**24 Weeks**

Emma dropped a grumpy Sophie off at Aurora's the next day. "If you're going to keep crying all night instead of sleeping," the blonde said before knocking on the front door, "then you're not gonna be happy are you?" And neither am I, she thought, feeling exhausted. 

She drove over to the station.

"Not a very interesting start to the week I'm afraid," her father said when she walked in. 

“Hoarding the more complicated cases again?" It was unlikely that nothing had happened in the days since she’d last been in.

"Of course not," he cleared his threat and shuffled the files on his desk. "So do you want graffiti or a cat stuck up a tree?"

"Graffiti." Her father was always better with animals. He'd spent a lot of time helping out at the shelter. And she hated trying to coax those cats down without getting clawed. 

"Then Belle's waiting at the library. She'll fill you in."

Emma pulled up outside. Belle came out to greet her and showed her one of the windows. She looked troubled. "I don't know how long it's been here," she began to explain. Her breath turned to mist when she spoke. "I only noticed it this morning.” 

The blonde examined what had been carefully applied to the glass. It was strange. Most graffiti was spray painted. Usually in the form of a stencilled image or a tag. This showed a crowned woman in a red circle dangling from a noose that was tied to the top. 

"See the book and the blade she's holding?" Belle asked. "The image might not be familiar to you but in The Enchanted Forest she represents female strength, power, and wisdom. Women used to pray to her for help."

Emma frowned. She could see why Belle looked so concerned. "You think someone's trying to put out a message?" 

"Seems like more than just bored teenagers to me." 

Emma took a photo with the police camera. The glass had been wiped down so there no was point in trying to lift any prints. She scrapped a few flakes of paint off for analysis before stopping off for a coffee on the way back to the station. 

“Is Red around?” she asked, hoping to get an idea of what her shifts had been like last week. 

Granny rolled her eyes. “Haven’t seen her. I think she slept at someone else’s house last night,” she replied. 

"Oh.” Granny handed over her order. “Hey have you seen anything painted on your windows?" Granny shook her head and began serving the next customer. Emma walked round the outside of the building anyway and spotted some graffiti hidden round the back, exactly the same as the one at the library. She took a second photograph. 

Granny and Belle were both tough, competent women. Both owned and managed more than one establishment since Gold had been banished from Storybrooke again. Emma thought about who else could be considered a strong woman in Storybrooke and immediately pictured Regina. She drove to the town hall. Afterwards she planned on checking the school. It may well have been targeted now that her mom was the principal.

Emma circled round outside of the building. A third piece had been painted on a rear window. One that wasn’t visible from the inside due to the blinds. This one was more faded than the others. Emma took another photo and stood thinking for a moment. Storybrooke was dominated by women. Maybe someone had taken issue with that. She hoped this wasn't the start of something more sinister.

"Emma?" 

She turned and saw Regina shivering at the corner. Matching lipstick and nail varnish. 

"Graffiti," Emma explained. "Someone seems to be targeting all the places run by women." 

"So the whole town then," Regina laughed. "I'm guessing there’s one at the station too?" 

The thought hadn't occurred to Emma yet. "Oh, haven't had chance to check."

Regina rubbed her palms together and stuck her hands under her armpits. "Any idea who's doing it?"

Emma shook her head.

"Any leads on the burglary?" 

So her father had been giving her the least stressful cases. She hadn't heard anything about this. "No news yet."

She caught Regina's gaze slipping down to her lips and remembered what had happened a few days ago. She wondered what it would be like to kiss her again now behind the town hall where no one would find them. Emma recalled the feeling of Regina's hand on the back of her head. The way she’d pressed her body up against hers. The little noises of contentment The Mayor had made. They held eye contact for a moment. Emma licked her lips. 

"Henry's got something good planned for you," she said to break the silence. 

Regina raised an eyebrow.

"Not telling you what it is though," she teased. She began shivering too so they walked back round to the front of the building. "Happy Birthday for Wednesday." 

Regina smiled. "Thank you"

"I know you said you didn't want a party or anything but I thought we could do something to celebrate when you get back."

Regina looked moved. "I would like that," she replied. "And it gives you at least three extra days to buy my present."

"Got it weeks ago, actually,” Emma laughed. “Have a great time in New York."

From her rear-view mirror Emma noticed that despite the cold Regina waited until the bug had driven all the way down the road before heading back inside. 

At the end of her shift she squeezed in a trip to the grocery store before picking up Sophie. Then she handed over the money she owed Aurora for babysitting and headed home. Her phone streamed a video call while she fed her daughter. “Henry, I need you to do me a massive favor.” 

“Already did it,” he said, holding up an envelope and an expensive bottle of wine. Emma breathed a sigh of relief. “You can pay me back for mom’s present when you next come and visit me.”

“Will do.” Sophie sneezed out a mouthful of food and Emma reached for a cloth to wipe them both. “We'll work out some dates soon, alright? And Facetime me again on Wednesday when you’re back from the restaurant.”

Regina hadn’t been aware of their plans but was delighted with the surprise call. Even more so by what Henry had bought her. “I wonder what this could be,” she said sarcastically as she unwrapped the bottle. There was never any way to hide the fact that you’d bought someone wine. “This however,” she continued as she opened the envelope and slipped out several pieces of paper from inside, “is a lot more mysterious.” Regina's eyes widened and she put a hand over her mouth when she saw what it was. Emma wished she’d asked Henry what he’d bought her instead of trusting him so naively. 

He picked up on Emma’s thoughts and took the paper from Regina’s hand, pretending to read it for the first time. “A booking for two hotel rooms in New York in March. Mom, that’s awesome. It’ll be so cool to have you both visit at once!” 

“Well your mom already has everything she could possibly want and I knew how much she would like that,” Emma said, slowing the words down whilst glaring at Henry through the screen. Trust her son to take advantage of the fact she hadn’t bought a present in time. 

“Thank you,” Regina said, looking to her left instead of at the camera. “This really means a lot.” 

Emma let go of the tension she’d been carrying. She’d been worrying about what to buy Regina for her birthday for a while. It was why she'd kept on procrastinating. “You’re welcome. See you Saturday.”

She managed to get into the station before her father the next day, giving her time to read the file he’d been secretly working on with Red. She held up a hand to silence his attempts at explaining his behaviour when he walked in.

“We need to work as a team, dad. What if I knew something that would help with the investigation?” 

He ran a hand over the claw marks on his forearm. “I know,” he sighed, putting a paper bag down on his desk.

“I get that you’re doing it to take the pressure off,” Emma continued. “And after Hook left it was a great help. But you said you would stop doing this when I called you out on it last time.” 

Incidents like the one that occurred on New Year’s were still fresh in her mind too. This period of her life was all about taking back control. About getting her wants and needs met. Though she wished it wouldn’t take so many repeated conversations. “How about from now on you check whether that’s the way I want to split our caseload first, rather than deciding what’s best for me without asking?” 

She slid her file on the graffiti case over in his direction so he could bring himself up to speed on what she’d already discovered. Her eyes gleamed when she realised what might be in the bag. “Are they doughnuts?” 

“Yeah make me a coffee and I'll give you one,” he teased.

“Alright,” she said getting out of her seat. She needed a caffeine fix too. “Deal.”

Emma spent Saturday afternoon shopping in order to replace the dried out make up that had been neglected in her bedroom. She let Sophie entertain herself with toys on the floor whilst she rummaged through her closet for something to wear. Clothes that she’d loved in the past suddenly seemed to dwarf her. Or look hideous. She started a pile of things she would give to charity. A black tunic with flowers on was the first to go. Before putting something on the pile she held the fabric up to her face and pulled it away a few times. Peekaboo always made her daughter shriek with laughter. 

She found a tight sweater which complimented her jeans and applied a little make up. 

“I’m sorry we’re not doing anything more…exciting,” she said once she’d stepped inside. Regina deserved way more than a night in watching a movie. 

“Well I’m not. This is exactly how I want to spend my evening.” 

They put a sleeping Sophie in a moses basket nearby. Regina must have helped out her mom so often that buying stuff like this again had been worth it. 

Regina folded up the newspaper she'd been reading before Emma had arrived and pulled out the bottle of wine from her birthday. They poured a glass each and touched them together lightly with a clink. “Another trip around the sun,” Emma said. "Congratulations." They settled onto the sofa and started playing the DVD. “What made you decide to do something quieter anyway?” Her mom had told her all about Regina’s visit to New York last year with her friends. It'd sounded like a lot of fun. 

“I’m getting too old to party,” Regina joked.

“And the real reason is...?” Emma fired back.

The brunette drank a large mouthful of wine to delay answering. Emma felt ready to face up to a few things. “It must have sucked that I didn’t get you anything last year,” she prompted. 

“I never missed a single one of your birthdays,” Regina said quietly. The hurt visible on her face. 

“I know. I’m sorry,” Emma said. She’d wanted to let Regina celebrate her birthday without any reminders of her. Without anything rubbing in the fact that Emma was getting it all whilst Regina’s life had been stripped away. What was now clearly a terrible case of warped logic had somehow made sense at the time. And she hadn’t been able to bear the fact that Regina would eventually find out Emma was getting an undeserved family too. Not when it was her fault Robyn was gone. Baggy clothes had helped her to hide the ever growing baby bump but it was hard to keep secrets in a small town for long. It turned out that someone who had a friend in common with Regina had spotted her coming out of her ultrasound. 

They watched the movie for a while - although Emma wasn't really paying attention. She began to realise that there'd been more reasons for what had happened last year than she'd first thought. And now it felt like they were sat too far apart on the sofa.

“So was there any graffiti at the station?” Regina asked during a lull in the action. 

Emma liked how their conversations would slide between their home and work lives. Talking was becoming very instinctive. She nodded. “And the school and the bank too. Couldn’t find any others though. I’ve asked people to keep an eye out for me.”

“I've been looking but I haven't seen any new ones either. What about the person behind the burglary?”

“I think I've figured out who it is. There's no evidence but I'm sure it wasn't her first. Just need to catch her now. ” 

“Let me know if you need a hand.” 

Emma smiled. “Thanks.” 

“Oh, and can you submit the reports for the last quarter? It would be good to get ahead on the end of year finances.” 

Knowing Regina liked to review them at this time of year meant that Emma had already made a start on them. “Sure, I’ll email you next week.” The blonde yawned for what felt like the tenth time that evening. Regina opened her arm out and Emma lay down on her side so that her head was resting in Regina's lap. Regina placed her arm on the side of her back and began stroking slowly, up and down below the shoulder. 

“I wished you’d told me yourself,” Regina confessed. “Overhearing two friends talking about it in the middle my birthday party wasn’t fun.” 

Emma gestured for Regina’s free hand. 

“I was the last to know,” Regina just about managed to whisper. Like her, The Mayor rarely shared her deepest feelings. Emma felt reassured that she was choosing to now. Even if the words were hard to hear. They were slowly becoming partners in all things. “I wanted to be there for you. To celebrate the news with you. Instead I felt like I was the least important person in your life.”

They laced fingers and Emma squeezed her hand in apology, regretting the pain she’d caused. Feeling guilt about the secret she was keeping now. Emma knew Regina understood what had been going on in her head back then and why she’d behaved the way she did but she explained in her own words. And reassured her that the reality had been the opposite despite how things had appeared at the time. 

They watched the rest of the movie in silence, only separating when the credits rolled. 

“Let me know when you’ve next got an evening free,” Emma said as she was leaving. "I hope this has been a better birthday." Regina's smile told her it had. They hugged around Sophie, and Emma kissed Regina on the cheek. 

Before getting ready for bed she took the faded and worn shoelace off her wrist and put it away in her jewellery box, followed by the chain with her wedding ring on. She no longer felt the need to wear them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So excited about the next chapter! <3
> 
> Using the spelling of Robyn so you know it's the girl rather than the forest fart.


	8. Then Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, it's time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, thank you SO MUCH for waiting and staying with me. <3

Snow accompanied Regina to the teacher’s lounge as she went to collect her things. The school hallways were lined with posters on diversity during the run up to International Stand Up To Bullying Day. 

"Thanks for coming in," Snow said. "You did a great job."

"Any time," Regina replied. She felt pleased with how her talk on LGBT issues had been received. Students had listened and asked questions. One teacher had asked if he could keep the flags for use in future displays. But the fire alarm sounded before they had a chance to say any more. The look on her friend's face showed her this wasn't planned.

Snow hurried to the door. "Follow the students to the nearest fire exit," she yelled before disappearing into the hallway. Raised voices and the sound of chairs being pushed back and scraped against the floor filled the air as the school began to move.

Knowing it would be cold outside Regina ignored the standard safety advice and went to get her belongings before evacuating. Several coats, including hers, were on the floor below the pegs on the wall which prompted her to check her purse on the way outside. Once there Regina stood off to the side of lines of shivering staff and students. She waited until she could get Snow’s attention and flag her over. 

"I thought you would have left by now," The Principal said.

"You’ll be needing the sheriff rather than the fire department," Regina replied, showing Snow her empty wallet. Her friend’s eyes widened in shock. "Once you've been cleared to go back inside have everyone check their belongings. The teacher's lounge has definitely been targeted." Luckily she'd kept he phone with her so she could call and cancel her cards. 

Snow apologised and hurried off to share the news with the other staff. Regina fished a newspaper out of the trash can next to her and flipped through it until she found the notices. This was the second week. 

Saturday had been a good day. Sitting and sharing affection with Emma had felt so natural. Normal even. Had anyone been watching they never would have guessed that it was one of the first times they'd been so close. She could still feel the way Emma's lips had brushed her cheek when she'd kissed her goodbye. Though she’d been trying not to think about it too much. She tore the page and slipped it into her pocket when she saw the cruiser pull up at the school. Emma walked straight over. 

"Snow just filled me in on what happened. Are you alright?" the blonde asked, moving in close.

Regina nodded. "Just cold."

"See anyone or anything suspicious?" Emma asked. 

"Just you without a coffee cup in your hand." The Mayor pushed her gloved fingertips up against Emma's forehead. "Are you sick?" 

“Oh, ha ha.” Emma swatted her off and was about to joke back when Snow interrupted them. Regina and Emma’s steps back from each other didn't go unnoticed. 

The Principal cleared her throat. "Emma, thanks for getting here so quickly," Snow said, briefly resting her hand on her daughter’s arm. "Once you've finished, erm, questioning Regina could you talk to the rest of the staff?"

"Sure," the blonde replied. She turned to Regina, "See you after work?"

Regina was pleasantly surprised. It had only been a few days since the night of pretend movie watching. Now Emma wanted to see her again so soon? "I would like that," she smiled.

Emma was about to walk away when Snow stopped her. "Your father said you couldn't make the date for Ruth's birthday party," she said. 

Emma nodded and tensed, ready to defend her reasons why. There was a short but painful silence.

"So how about we hold it the weekend after?" her mother asked. 

Emma and Regina shared a look of surprise. "Then...that'd be perfect." Emma let out the breath that she’d been holding. She looked happy not to receive another lecture about how much family meant to her parents and how disappointed they were that she couldn't make their first choice of dates. "Thank you," she said, and walked off to identify who else had had things stolen. Regina went back to work.

 

By the end of the day she hadn't heard from Emma so she drove over to the sheriff's department. It was silent when she went in; the hum from the old PCs from the 90s had long been replaced by modern day technology. Regina took a few paces inside and looked around whilst she waited. 

Emma's belongings were placed on the desk nearest the door. There were piles of papers, her hat, and her cell. Someone was calling Emma though it wasn’t a number that had been saved in her phone. The shutdown screen on the laptop showed 8 out of 16 updates had downloaded. A photo of a small child filled the top piece of paper out of those resting on the printer tray. The little ginger haired girl seemed familiar somehow. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Emma asked, stepping into the room from behind her.

"Just seeing if you still wanted to meet up tonight," Regina replied. Her smile faded as Emma hurried over to the desk and shoved all the papers in the printer tray into a battered file. “Did you get the message I sent this afternoon?” she asked.

"Yeah, sorry long day," Emma replied, frowning at her phone. "But I am definitely still ok to hang out. David should be here at any moment."

"Dinner at my place after you've picked up Sophie?"

Emma's face lit up. 

"See you soon then," The Mayor laughed, grinning at Emma's reaction to her offer on the way out. This closeness between them made her happy. Such a contrast to how painful things used to be. 

Though when she was waiting for the food to cook in the oven her mind began slotting some of the pieces into place. If Emma didn't want her to see something then it was probably linked to the things she still felt guilty about. The little girl in the photo wasn't anyone Regina recognised in Storybrooke. Whilst she wasn't going to jump to any conclusions it would be foolish to ignore the fact that her sister also had the same color hair. 

After their honest and emotional talk at the weekend the idea of more secrets made her stomach turn. Perhaps it would've been wise to keep an emotional distance from Emma whilst she gave her the time she’d asked for but, Regina thought as the doorbell rang, it was a little too late for that. She decided to place her trust in her as she opened the front door. 

 

Later Regina pushed a plate of seconds over to Emma and scooped up Sophie in her arms. These days the 6 month old loved standing on Regina's thighs, collapsing her legs, then being stood up again. 

"Do you think what happened at the school today is linked to the burglaries?" The Mayor asked. 

"Yes," Emma said without hesitation. She threw a muslin cloth over to Regina to wipe up all the drool caused by Sophie teething. "I'm surprised she was that bold though. I'm wondering if you coming back from your talk a few minutes before class was due to end caught her off guard." 

"So she set the fire alarm off as a distraction," Regina finished. "Analysis back on the graffiti paint yet?"

"From a brand sold at the local hardware store. No one who bought any seemed to have done this though." 

It was nice to see Emma’s intuition surface more prominently. Regina thought for a moment. "Maybe we could remove the graffiti on my office window, set up a camera and see if anyone comes to paint it back on again?" It hadn't been removed yet in case further evidence was needed. 

Emma grinned. "Bought the wireless cameras this morning. Could I stop by sometime this week and set it up?"

"Of course,” Regina said, looking forward to the moment already. She finished wiping Sophie’s face and fished a toy out of Emma's bag for the 6 month old to chew on. 

Emma began sliding a vegetable around her plate with her fork. "Are you doing anything this weekend?" she asked.

"I'm going on a shopping trip." She was joining a few friends and heading to the nearest city in order to raid the winter sales. Now part of her wished she was free. "You?"

Emma slid the fork tongs into the piece of broccoli. “Nothing really,” she said. 

"Another time then." Regina offered. 

Emma's smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "Yeah, another time." 

 

Regina was out drinking with friends the following week when the chance arose. A photo of a wine bottle popped up on her phone and she needed no further prompting to feign a desire for an early night and secretly head round to Emma's instead. Regina was struck by how much the sheriff looked like her good old self. She stood straighter now than she had done when she was living with her husband. And she filled her clothes again.

They consumed several glasses of wine over light-hearted conversation before Emma steered the subject on to something more serious. 

"I've got something I need to tell you," the blonde said as Regina put her phone on to charge and returned to her seat. 

A few possibilities flashed through Regina's mind. Had Emma met someone? Or maybe she was going to say that the kiss had been a mistake. She stared into her wine glass and pressed her lips together as she waited. Her thoughts were interrupted by the soft creek of a wooden chair as Emma sat down beside her and pushed a tatty file across the table.  


"Well this has seen better days," Regina observed. It looked like one she saw Emma stuffing papers into the week before in the station.

"Yeah I've had it a long time," Emma explained. "Since I lost Zelena actually."

Regina felt very strongly about Emma’s choice of words. ‘Lost’ implied that she'd been careless or incompetent. The truth was they'd all taken it in turns to watch Zelena round the clock back then to make sure she didn't harm anyone else or her baby. The green skinned woman was an extremely powerful witch. Once she’d manage to steel a wand she could have escaped by knocking out any one of them. Regina suspected her sister had picked Emma on purpose to make the blonde feel worse and hurt Regina indirectly.

The Mayor took a deep breath. Partly out of relief that this conversation didn't seem to be about them but partly out of fear over what might have happened to that branch of her family. With Zelena was a child for whom she cared deeply. And Robyn was one of her few remaining connections to the man she’d loved so much. Regina thought back to the photo of the little red haired girl. "You've found them?"

Emma nodded. "In Wisconsin of all places. I have no idea why. But I’ve had people on the lookout for them since she went missing."

"How long have you known where they are?" Regina asked quietly.

"A few weeks. But I needed to be sure of their situation before I told you." Emma opened the file and took out the photo. "And I wanted to get a picture for you."

The Mayor was able to get a much clearer look this time. She covered her hand with her mouth. Her niece was beautiful. And very much Robin's daughter. She’d missed her.

"And she's alright?" Regina checked.

"My contact says she looks healthy,” the blonde said. “Zelena's got a job. Robyn's enrolled in kindergarten. They seem to live in a nice area." Regina stroked the cheek of the child in the photograph. "Kinda hard to believe but I think having a child to care for has really mellowed Zelena out,” Emma continued.

"Can I keep this?" Regina asked. Emma nodded and the Mayor stood up and tucked it safely into her purse. She looked at her watch. It was nearly eleven. "Unfortunately I need to be heading home," she said whilst yawning. "I know it’s Friday but I have a Skype call with Henry in the morning."

"Oh, ok." The Mayor thought she saw a flicker of disappointment on Emma's face. "Then I'll see you out." 

Regina put her coat and gloves on. "Thank you for finding her." She had spent a lot of time over the years wondering if she was safe, whichever realm she’d ended up in. 

"I had to make up for-"

Regina placed a hand on Emma's arm to still her vicious guilt and self-loathing. 

"Right," Emma said, getting the message that Regina never blamed her. That she was grateful for the time, effort and money Emma had spent in tracking her down. "You're welcome." Regina nodded her approval at Emma's response and was surprised to feel Emma's lips on her cheek kissing her goodbye again. "Have a think and let me know if you want to do anything about Robyn and Zelena." 

Regina assured her she would do. 

The Mayor was halfway down the road about to check for messages from Henry when she realised she'd forgotten her phone. "That was quick," she said when Emma opened the door and let her in again. 

"Yeah I was just er, stood here thinking about something when you knocked again." Emma ran her tongue across her lips slightly without realising.

Regina raised an eyebrow. "Anything exciting?" 

"Maybe," Emma shrugged nervously. Regina waited until she elaborated. "Why is it that sometimes the simplest things seem like the hardest to do." 

It was in no way clear what Emma was referring to. Regina wondered if her friend had had too much wine and too little sleep. Her lids were looking a little droopy. "I don’t know," she said. "Maybe it happens when they matter the most." She stepped past the blonde to retrieve her phone from the kitchen. 

Emma followed. "Do you think we should just put our fears aside and do them anyway?"

Regina slipped her cell in her pocket. “Yes, if it's something that will make you happy.” 

The blonde stepped forward and pushed her against the kitchen counter. "I think this will," she whispered before moving her head forward so that her lips were pressing against Regina's. 

It took Regina a moment to get her breath back. As Emma deepened the kiss she slipped off her gloves let them fall to the floor so she could run her hands through Emma's hair and feel the softness of her skin beneath her fingertips. She hummed with pleasure as she breathed the scent of her in. The taste of Emma seemed to have more of an effect on her than the alcohol they’d been consuming. 

Sophie's tears interrupted them. Emma kept her arms round Regina but buried her head in her shoulder. "Oh god, seriously?" she mumbled. She stood back up again. "I'll er, be right back ok?" She hurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs. 

Regina wasn’t sure whether to laugh or groan in frustration. She turned round and leaned her hands against the counter for support. She wanted to follow Emma but was too scared to make the assumption that she’d be welcome to. So she settled for a moment by moment replay instead. Along with a mental plan of all the things she wanted to do with Emma if she could stay. 

She heard footsteps approaching. "Spend the night with me," Emma said quietly. 

Her words left Regina speechless. So she slipped off her coat and shoes and didn’t even try to put them in their correct place by the front door so Emma would know how enthusiastic she was about her answer. The blonde had a light in her eyes that The Mayor didn’t recognise. She reached out for Regina's hand and led her into the bedroom.

Regina accidentally knocked some kind of calendar off the back of the bedroom door when she closed it. She thought she saw the divorce notice from week three flutter to the carpet too but her attention was soon caught elsewhere. Emma’s mouth was on hers again and the blonde was pulling the zip on her dress downwards. Regina stepped out of the puddle it made at her feet. She broke their lips apart and undid the fastenings on Emma's clothing. And when she ran out of buttons she pulled off Emma's shirt and let the blonde take off her jeans. 

She admired the sight of Emma's neck without a wedding ring on a chain around it. 

Emma put on her pyjamas and found something for Regina to sleep in. "There's spare toiletries in the bathroom," she said. 

"Later." Regina replied. It was true a Queen had high standards of personal care even when preparing for sleep but she also knew well her priorities. She slipped her nightwear on and her bra off and joined Emma under the covers. 

As Regina had been the one honouring Emma’s wishes for time to figure out what she wanted she knew she should let the blonde set the tone for whatever may or may not be about to happen. "Are you sure about this?" she asked. 

"Yeah, I am," Emma replied. 

They lay and drank the sight of each other in. And after a little while they rubbed noses and began kissing again, slowly exploring. Emma's hand slipped under Regina’s top and settled on bare skin. Eventually they drifted off to sleep with their arms wrapped round each other and their heads so close they were almost touching.


	9. 29th April

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Swen meet up is happening in London on Sunday 2nd July at 2pm at St James' Park - wanna join us? 
> 
> -
> 
> As I've re-read this fic today I realised that I needed to make a few minor changes to the last chapter. One was to the title, the other was switching the generic 'Charming family gathering' mentioned to something more specific (Ruth's 3rd birthday party). 
> 
> I'm sorry that real life took over for a few months and left me too busy to update. 
> 
> But I did get hugged by Lana at SBUK3! (And Bex 'accidentally' felt my boob but that's a different story.)
> 
> Thank you so much for staying with me as I write this and for continuing to leave feedback. I love you.

Emma woke with a slight headache and the back of Regina's body pressed against her side. She'd been drowning again. Then suddenly she'd found herself on the shore. For some reason she'd been trying to find Regina but no matter how many times she'd headed inland all paths kept leading back to the ocean. Emma turned her head; the brunette was still asleep, giving soft, little breaths every time she exhaled. Not many people got to see this side of The Mayor. Now Emma knew that even dishevelled and asleep she looked just as beautiful.

Not feeling ready to face Regina just yet she quietly eased herself out from under the sheets and went to check on Sophie. Her daughter had kicked off the blanket Granny had knitted for her, which was identical to Emma's except for the six letter name embroidered in the corner. "Who's a good girl for staying asleep all night?" she cooed as she carried her little slob monster down the stairs. Her fourth tooth was coming through although Sophie rarely let her look inside her mouth in order to check on it. Emma had dressed her in one of Ruth's cast offs today. She had a feeling that the outfit would probably get passed back to her mom to use again within the next few years. 

"Are you hungry?" Emma asked her daughter. "Shall I get you some food?" Sophie shrieked a short reply. 

Emma cut up some pieces of banana and left them in front of her baby. "Now the challenge is for you for to get it in your mouth and not all over your highchair," Emma said whilst she fixed her long, blonde hair in the reflection of the window. 

"I'll try and bear that in mind when I'm eating." 

Emma rolled her eyes. Often with Regina that was all you could do. But when she turned and caught sight of The Mayor in her kitchen she had to bite her lip to avoid grinning like an idiot. It had taken her a while to figure out whether something more with Regina was what she wanted, but yesterday she'd discovered that she'd been right to ask her to stay the night. It had been so nice not to sleep alone. She hoped Regina hadn't felt disappointed by the lack of action.

Neither of them moved. Each felt unsure as to whether the other was OK with what had happened the night before, as though the other's attraction had been so fragile it could have crumbled in the morning sun. Emma didn't know where to start so she made a coffee and pushed it across the counter toward Regina. The brunette nodded her thanks but left it untouched whilst it cooled. 

"You sleep alright?" Emma asked.

"Yes, thank you," Regina replied. She seemed softer at this this early hour. The lack of lipstick and dark smoky eyes made her look more vulnerable. “And you?” 

“Yeah, fine.”

“Good," Regina said. She hugged her arms against her body.

Emma’s attention was distracted by her daughter reaching out over the side of the highchair and letting some banana drop to the floor. After putting it the trashcan Emma rinsed her fingers at the sink. She felt Regina’s arms wrap around her. The side of the brunette's head pressed against hers. 

“What happens now, Emma?” Regina mumbled into her hair.

Her first thought was that she should throw the question back then tailor her response to match Regina's but she knew that kind of behaviour was a habit she had to break. And that she no longer had to try and mind read. She could ask for clarification instead; “What do you mean?” 

God bless Regina’s patience. 

“Was last night a one-time offer or will there more to look forward to?” 

Emma loved how Regina kept things neutral. Testing the waters rather than demanding what she wanted. The blonde took a moment to work out how she felt. “Yeah I could do that again,” she said hesitantly. Although having Sophie meant that any overnight stays would be happening at hers for the foreseeable future. Unless sitters were involved anyway. Maybe she could pack her daughter off to her parents for the odd 'special evening'. 

Regina interrupted her thoughts; “Careful you don't bowl me over with your enthusiasm,” she joked. 

Emma relaxed into her embrace and brought her hands up to rest on Regina's arms in reassurance. “Sorry,' she said nodding in Sophie's direction. "Just thinking of the practicalities. You want breakfast?”

“No thank you, I must get home for my Skype call with Henry.” The bit about him not seeing that they’ve spent a night together remained unspoken. It was probably wise to keep things quiet for now and not do anything out of the ordinary. Whatever was happening between them probably wasn’t going to last long anyway. With the exception of Hook things never did.

"Why did he want to talk to you so early?" Emma asked. 

"He has some business meetings apparently." Emma could hear the amusement in Regina's voice. "And no I don't know what he means by that either." After kissing her hair the brunette pulled away. She slid on her pumps and picked her coat up from where she’d placed it the night before. "See you soon," she smiled, draining her coffee. 

Emma raised her hand to wave goodbye. "I'm free most nights next week," she called as Regina headed out through the front door. Emma grabbed a baby wipe to tackle the banana Sophie had smeared on her face and pulled a chair up in order to feed her some more breakfast. 

 

That afternoon Emma drove to her parents' house. It was a short distance that she looked forward to walking with the stroller in spring but there was still a lot of ice and snow on the streets at the moment. At the traffic lights she saw a thin figure with dirty blonde hair pull their hood up and run down a side street. Emma was too far away to tell who it was but there was definitely something odd about the way they were behaving.

Hand painting was well under way by the time Emma arrived. She'd been making more of an effort to stop by lately and this was one of her favourite things to do with her siblings. Large sheets of paper covered the kitchen floor whilst the two eldest kids covered it in color. A play mat for the little ones had been dragged over. Emma put Sophie down on it next to Leo and joined her family on the floor. Although it wasn't a tactic that was going to work for much longer; Sophie would start crawling any day now. She was already rolling around and dragging her body forward whenever she wanted to get her hands on something nearby. Like the hose on the vacuum cleaner. 

"I'm drawing everyone," Neal announced proudly. Emma nodded her approval at the round blobs with twigs coming off. "There’s a boyfriend so you don't get alone." 

"Honey," Snow began. "Do you remember what we-" 

"It's fine," Emma interrupted. She thought back to her and Regina undressing each other the night before. The way her affection had felt at the kitchen sink that morning. She grinned. "Having someone to be with sounds like a nice idea." 

Something tickled her palm. "Aw Neal, did you just put paint on me?" He and Ruth giggled loudly so Emma held out her palm. "Might as well finish what you started."

"Speaking of boyfriends though," the short haired woman said dramatically, "do you know who found one recently?" 

Emma shook her head. 

"Granny, with Gepeto," Snow said. 

"Oh cool. Good for them," Emma replied, feeling surprised that they hadn't managed it sooner. He always found excuses to loiter at the diner. She pressed her painted palm down on the paper and grabbed her little brother’s wrist. "Now it’s your turn you little monkey."

“Blue!” he insisted.

Snow helped Ruth's paint her own palm before adding hers to the paper. Now there were four hand prints there. "I may have helped orchestrate a situation that got them talking," she added with a conspiratorial smile. 

Emma signed her palm print and passed Neal the marker. With a little help he managed to write his own name in chubby, wobbly letters. Lucky for him he wasn't named Rumplestilskin. 

"Can you think of anyone you'd like me to invite to Ruth's birthday party?" Snow hinted. 

If she wasn't covered in paint Emma would have face palmed.

"Or someone who'd be a good match for Regina? It's been a long time since she was with Tiana." 

Emma felt jolted by the thought of someone else capturing The Mayor's attention. "She's good. Actually I think she's been waiting for someone.” It was still hard for Emma to believe that someone was her. “So let’s not play cupid just yet.” 

The blonde decided that the babies were not getting away without participating. She squirted a blob of paint on Sophie's hand and rubbed it in with the brush before pressing it down on the paper next to her own. So small. She should really start filling in that baby book Snow had bought her. And taking more photos.

"Don't touch anything!" Snow called as she followed Neal to the bathroom to wash the paint off their hands. Emma put Sophie down so she could do Leo's next. She wrote the four remaining names underneath the palm prints and painted some comedy eyebrows on her brother whilst she waited. 

"Don't worry, it'll come off,” Emma said in response to the look on Snow's face when she came back through. Didn’t all parents do stuff like this? “Last week I put Sophie in one of my shirts. Her little head poking out of a giant body looked hilarious.” 

She began wondering why Snow seemed so emotional but it didn’t click until she was tidying up later that it was because she’d written 'Mom' instead of ‘Snow’ under her mother's palm print without realising. 

 

Monday morning rolled round again and Emma followed the usual routine. Drop child off at Aurora's. Get caffeinated drink from Granny's. The Sheriff started the day by reviewing the footage from the cameras set up in order to capture the graffitist. Lately she'd taken to watching it on triple speed as there’d been nothing to see so she sat back to enjoy her coffee.

"Shit," she said, as a well-built man in dark clothing appeared. He was carrying a bat and his head and face were covered. She scrutinised the screen. He seemed older. Middle aged perhaps. It looked like he'd had some violence planned but had been distracted by the fact that the graffiti was missing. He straightened up and looked around carefully, eventually spotting the hidden camera. Emma cursed again as he walked over to it and tore it down. The monitor went black.

"Looks like my first stop is the Town Hall then," she mumbled to herself.

And there it was, the same image of a crowned woman in a red circle dangling from a noose tied to the top. Book and blade in hand. Freshly painted.  
She found the remains of her wireless camera. It had been crushed under foot. 

She turned and saw Regina leaning against the corner of the building, trying not to shiver too much. She was wearing a pantsuit and heels. Another great look. "You know Swan, the door into my office is round the front." 

"Maybe I wanted to check out the rear?" Emma smirked. 

Regina was caught off guard by her double entendre. "Oh," she blustered, unused to Emma dishing out wisecracks. It had been a long time since they'd engaged in this kind of banter, trying to one up the other. The Mayor looked round and quickly realised what had happened. "What is your proposed plan of action?" 

"I wanna scope out the town and see if this graffiti has popped up anywhere new." Emma explained about what she had seen in the footage. "I can check whether any buildings have been damaged too."

"Anything else?" Regina fished, taking a few steps closer. 

Emma dug her fingernails into her thumbs and took a breath. "Dinner at mine Thursday night?" she offered. "I should be receiving a letter this week with some good news that we can celebrate."

Regina beamed. 

Emma made to walk back round to the front of the building but was stopped by a tug on her coat sleeve. "Want me to bring anything?" The Mayor asked, resting her hands on Emma's waist.

Emma felt a rush of excitement flood her body. "Just you," she said. And Regina leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. 

"I cannot believe you're canoodling with townsfolk on the clock Sheriff Swan,” Regina quipped as they separated a few minutes later. “This is not you’re being paid for."

Emma spun her round and propelled her forwards towards the front of the building. "Tax dollars well spent if you ask me."

 

She found more graffiti round the back of the old ice cream store, along with a busted lock. It hadn't always been vacant since Ingrid died. Someone had taken on the business for a while but decided to leave town after being maimed by a killer plant on the loose, which was understandable. The whole thing had been very unfortunate. It had taken days to clean up afterwards and led to some of the newer residents discovering the truth about Storybrooke. They'd taken the tales of magic and curses surprisingly well, considering. 

The damage to the lot didn't seem to have been done by the man in the video though. There was a teenage boy inside. "Isn't there some place you need to be, Hansel?" she asked.

He quickly threw a cigarette on the floor and stepped on it as though he had a chance of not being caught. Emma would bet that he hadn’t even been inhaling it properly anyway.

"Come on", she offered. "I'll give you a ride to school." He mumbled something she didn't catch. "Just this once though," she warned. “Do it again you’ll be in big trouble.”

Hansel wasn't answering her questions which made the journey a lot more awkward than it needed to be. She remembered how bad things had been for him and his sister before they had been reunited with their father. Then felt ashamed that she hadn't stopped by to check in on them since she’d given birth to Sophie. 

She pulled into the school parking lot and gave it one last shot before he got out the cruiser. "Are you sure everything’s aright at home?" 

"It's fine."

"Not like you to skip school for no reason. I heard you were doing well." Snow was always giving her updates about the students. Emma pretended to check her phone, hoping her silence would make him feel the need to justify his behaviour.

"I still am," he insisted 

Emma stifled a smile of satisfaction. 

"I was just taking a break that's all," he continued. "I get so mad sometimes."

Emma looked over at him sympathetically.

"Dad got injured at the garage. He can’t do all of the work he used to," he added quietly. “And he didn’t have any insurance.” He got out the car and slunk back into school.  
Emma sent a message to Snow to keep an eye on him and went to pay Granny a second visit to find out how the guest house was doing.

 

Once the required notices about her missing spouse had been published in the newspaper her lawyer had been able to file the CV-73 confirmation form with the court. That morning she’d received a letter informing her of the date of the hearing. It had been proudly on display during dinner. Regina had made it float in the air after kissing it in jubilation when she thought Emma wasn't looking. The blonde shared her feelings on the matter. In about 8 weeks a judge would legally end her marriage, and she couldn’t wait to be free. 

"I'm afraid I've led you here under false pretences," Emma confessed after putting Sophie in her crib. "You're not just here to celebrate."

"The answer's no," Regina joked. 

Emma pulled out a plastic bag and tipped its contents all over the table. "The faster you help me make Ruth's birthday party decorations, the quicker we can go on to do...other things,” she teased. 

Regina grabbed some paper. “Fine,” she said. She crossed her legs and rested her foot against Emma’s leg under the table. 

"Can't believe she dumped all this on me as I was leaving on Saturday," Emma mumbled, "saying that she was too busy to make them herself." It felt like quite a claim when the party wasn’t even until after her and Regina's trip to New York.

"Well I suppose she has been very busy with work lately,” Regina mused. There had been a big security review in the weeks after the thefts from the breakroom, not just for property but for student safety too. “Although she could just buy them herself," she continued, "I thought her desire for everything to be perfect had quietened down lately."

"How optimistic of you," Emma said dryly. She showed Regina some pictures of what Snow wanted her to make; "So there's going to be a woodland theme. How's your flower making skills?"

"Non-existent."

"Well you're not allowed to use magic,” she grinned, catching Regina’s eye. “That's cheating." Emma knew her attempts at flirting weren’t going unnoticed when Regina began to slowly slide her foot up and down her shin. 

“Will my hard work be rewarded?” Regina asked, feigning innocence. She made sure that Emma saw her brown eyes dip slowly down to Emma’s cleavage. 

Emma swallowed, bracing herself before taking the next step. It still felt like everything could shatter. 

She may not work Fridays but Regina did. The blonde decided she’d rather wait a little longer so there was no time limit the following morning. Well, none apart from a waking Sophie. Emma imagined clearing off one of the bedside tables for her. Surrendering drawers for The Mayor's belongings. She needed to check whether her lube was still within its expiry date.

The blonde leaned in, "Stop by after work tomorrow with an overnight bag and you’ll see."


	10. Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to @pinkshiori for being my awesome beta reader on this chapter. You've taught me so much and I'm so glad I asked you to help me. (Although the abandoned wine glasses might disagree.) I should have turned to you sooner.
> 
> Another round of thanks to my wonderful subscribers and readers for staying with me. You are so loved.
> 
> _ 
> 
> Remember that Swen meet up in London I mentioned last chapter? Well there's not long to go until the 2nd July!  
> Here's all the details if you'd like to join us: deleted

Regina was counting down the hours until the weekend but she still had a long way to go; she wasn’t even half way through the day yet. Her twelve o’clock meeting was about to start. Greying walls surrounded her and a worn blue carpet lay beneath. Days like this made her nostalgic for life under the curse when magic prevented any decay. It was going to be a struggle to refurbish Storybrooke’s public buildings in the future. She stifled a yawn and began re-reading her papers.

There was a soft knock on the door. A PA brought in some refreshments.

“Thank you,” Regina said, trying to hide her annoyance with everyone else in the room bar one for failing to acknowledge them. “Shall we begin?” It was clear from the look on everyone’s faces that no one wanted to be at this project meeting. Many found it boring, and whilst their planning sessions were important the head of public utilities always made them last much longer than they needed to be by being so uncooperative. 

He wasted no time in voicing his opinion. “You’re barely giving me anything,” he huffed. “How do you expect me to maintain our infrastructure on this?”

Regina smiled politely. That wasn’t even what they were here to talk about. “As I’ve already stated on numerous occasions Mr Radcliffe, I’m giving you everything I can afford to.”

“It’s not good enough.” 

“Short of closing the Sheriff’s station or decommissioning one our fire engines, I honestly don’t know what you expect me to do.”

“I still don’t see why you can’t just magic the money or something,” another senior staff member muttered. 

Regina ignored that comment. Obviously creating a false economy wouldn’t work. It would just collapse after she’d gone if the town couldn’t sustain itself. She’d told them this several times before in previous meetings. They just wanted the easy way out.

The engineer they’d hired to work with tried to get the meeting on course. “How about we discuss our new road and bridge”, Mr Wu prompted. “Construction is set to start in about 8 weeks, how are the prepar-?”

“We won’t build it,” Mr Radcliffe interrupted. “Not until our annual budget is increased.”

The other attendees groaned in frustration.

 

When the meeting ended a few hours later the engineer hovered around the doorway, scribbling something on the back of a business card. “Would you mind if I asked for some advice Madam Mayor?” he said.

“Not at all," she replied. Mr Wu was always a pleasure to work with. Regina appreciated his manners every time he visited Storybrooke to work on the project. Along with his trustworthiness. He was one of the few outsiders she trusted with the town's secrets. After finding the remains of a flying monkey during one of his site surveys in the forest he still hadn't breathed a word of her explanation to anyone else. 

“Is there anywhere to hang out here apart from The White Rabbit or Aesop’s Tables? I foolishly decided to stay the night after my site visit this afternoon.”

Regina laughed slightly in response. 

“I’ll take that as a no,” he said smiling. “How about a meal together then? I could use some company.” 

Regina wasn’t sure of his intentions. Not that it mattered either way. She’d packed her holdall (and a gift for Sophie) as soon as she’d gotten home from Emma’s yesterday. And whilst it was useful to network it wasn’t like she needed any more friends.

“Maybe next time,” he said, allowing them both a graceful exit. He handed her his card, which she put in her right suit pocket without looking at. Her attention was focused on the cell she had just taken out of her bag. Emma had messaged her a photo of Sophie with a grandma filter from Snapchat. ‘Looks just like you,’ Regina typed and pressed send.

 

On the drive back to the Town Hall a car accelerating out of a side street nearly crashed into her. It veered off the road and ploughed into someone’s garden taking the trashcan and mailbox with it. Regina pulled up on the side of the road and ran towards to vehicle. She yanked the driver’s door open.

“Sleepy?” she cried out.

When she established that he wasn’t hurt anger replaced her concern. He had been banned from driving a long time ago for this very reason. She called the Sheriff Station and began to deal with the small crowd of neighbors that had come to see what was happening.

“Come on, I thought we’d been through this,” Charming said to Sleepy when he arrived. He put the dwarf in the back of the cruiser so he could take him to the station. He then turned to Regina, “Thanks for calling me in. I think Tillman's is closed again at the moment so I’ll get Ruby to take the car to the garage over in the next town.”

“Tell him I’ll curse him if he pulls this stunt again,” Regina said.

Charming struggled to contain a grin. “You still alright to babysit on Sunday?” he asked.

Regina nodded and tried to hide her fatigue of children under five years old.

“Any other plans for the weekend?”.

“I’ll be spending time with Emma and Sophie tonight.” Regina sighed. Of course she was delighted…but she still had 3 hours to go.

Charming looked happy to hear it. “We’re all so glad you two are on good terms again you know. I didn’t realise it at first but it’s like you’ve helped breathe the life back into her.”  


There was a soft thump as Sleepy’s head fell against the window.

“I’d better go,” he laughed. He got behind the wheel and drove off, leaving Regina to resume her journey to the Town Hall and settle down with some coffee and the end of year accounts. 

After checking that the Neighborhood Watch had enough cover for the night she left work right on time.

 

“Food will be ready in ten,” Emma said as Regina walked in. They kissed in greeting. Regina put her bag down and went to fetch herself a drink. “Seems like you’ve had an interesting day,” the blonde continued with a snicker. She must have heard about the events of this afternoon from her father.

“If I ever find a magic bean he’s one of the first people I’m throwing into a portal,” Regina said. “Along with the head of public utilities.”

“Well at least you’re here now,” she stated, probably to avoid hearing all her complaints about Mr Radcliffe again.

Regina raked her eyes the full length of Emma’s body. “That is an excellent point,” she said slowly. But any further flirting would have to wait as they were interrupted by birdsong. Sophie had rolled over on the floor and hit one of her musical toys in the process.

“Hey watch this,” Emma said, taking the toy and moving a few meters away from her. She wiggled it to capture her daughter’s attention and after a few moments of consideration Sophie shuffled forward using her forearms until she reached it. 

“Wow Sophie look at you!” Regina exclaimed. She walked over to scoop her up and lift her in the air in praise and celebration. “When did she start commando crawling?”

“This morning,” Emma beamed. “I thought I would surprise you with it.” She turned and began walking towards the kitchen. “Hope you like my stew.”

The Mayor put Sophie in the highchair and sat down at the table. She pushed a baby book with photos piled on top out of the way so she had enough room to start eating.

 

Later that evening Regina took her gift for Sophie out of her bag and followed Emma upstairs and into the nursery.

“Was this yours?” Emma said quietly so she wouldn’t disturb a sleepy Sophie. She held up the doll to admire it.

Regina nodded and replied quietly in return. “My mother wasn’t sentimental. She threw out almost everything from my childhood but I managed to hide a few things. I want Sophie to have it.” Regina had been cleaning out her vault when she’d found it. It was nice to have something from her past in the Enchanted Forest to hand down.

“Thank you,” Emma said. “It’s beautiful.” She put the doll on top of a chest of drawers nearby.

Regina stood next to the crib and leaned on the side. “She’ll be pulling herself up and taking her first steps soon.” She thought back to her own memories of raising Henry. “The first year goes by so fast, doesn't it?”

“Tell me about it.” Emma joined her at the side of the crib.

Regina phrased the next question carefully. “How has it been, to experience the parts you missed?”

“Good. Bittersweet. More exhausting than I ever thought it could be.” Emma played with her hands for a few moments. “I guess I miss having time to myself. And just being able to go anywhere whenever you want to.” She continued speaking without taking a breath, “You know it’s funny you should bring round that doll tonight because I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Regina turned to face her.

“Would you consider being her godmother?”

“Oh. Wow, Emma.” The Mayor blinked rapidly to try and hold back the wave of emotions that had just surfaced. Since the day Sophie was born Regina had already considered herself to be fulfilling that role. Even though she’d never mentioned it to anyone she’d vowed to herself to spend her life looking out for Emma’s little girl. It was a feeling that had only grown stronger when she’d found out the child had been named after her. “There’s nothing to think about. Of course I will.” 

She took Emma’s hand and led her out of the room. Emma closed the nursery door behind them. “Thank you,” Regina said still blinking. “This means a great deal.”

“No, I’m the one who should be saying it. It’s really great that you’re willing to do this.”

They stood awkwardly in the hall. The desire to pull Emma into the bedroom began to mix in with the whirl of emotions she was already feeling.

“Shall we get some wine?” Emma asked.

Regina grinned. “Yes.”

It was Emma’s turn to take Regina’s hand this time. She led her downstairs, took a bottle from the side, and eased out the cork whilst Regina found two glasses. Emma filled them up. “What shall we do next?” Emma asked nervously. The tension seemed to be growing between them now Sophie had been put to bed.

Regina didn’t want to push anything, but she didn’t want her desire to go unnoticed either. Not after the moves Emma made yesterday. She looked her up and down again. “I’m open to suggestions,” she said. And whilst she didn’t quite lick her lips she did run her tongue along the bottom of her top teeth playfully.

“Right…” Emma began. “My thoughts exactly.” She took a large sip of wine, prompting Regina to do the same.

They moved closer. Regina rested her free hand on Emma’s waist and took a deep breath to help maintain her composure. She began to slowly draw circles with her fingers, giving Emma a hint of what she had planned when they were both undressed. She took another sip as she drank the sight of Emma in and then leaned forward so they could brush lips. Emma pressed her hand against her back bringing Regina closer still so their bodies were touching.

There were little kisses at first. But they deepened once they both became more assured. Regina felt a tug of impatience, so she pulled away in order to gesture towards the stairs. It was a good sign that Emma switched off the lights on the way up; it meant she didn't plan on returning any time soon.

Emma stopped before the window in the hall on the spot where they’d first kissed. She placed their glasses on the sill. And when she slowly teased Regina’s suit jacket down her arms Regina felt like she was falling into something she would never be able to climb back out of.

The jacket slipped to the floor.

Emma sought permission to continue. The Mayor took her hands and placed them on the waistband of her trousers in encouragement. Emma pushed her lips against hers again as she unbuttoned them. Emma's hands fluttered on her skin as she worked the fabric down over her hips. Then they explored the lace that was underneath. Combined with the wine she’d been drinking they were starting to have very pleasurable effect. She could feel her arousal building. 

Regina stepped out of her trousers and used her free hand to push Emma back in the direction of her bedroom. Whilst she wanted it all in a heartbeat she also needed to be able to savour every single moment. She’d been waiting so long for this. And most of that time had been spent thinking she would never get it. So she perched on the edge of the bed in order to take her time and appreciate the sight before her. She leaned back on her hands and pushed her chest out, trying to both hide her nervousness and look as seductive as possible. 

It worked. Emma’s eyes were wide with desire. And she seemed to sense the way Regina was feeling, as she slowly unbuttoned her jeans and slipped her thumbs in the waistband to slide them down. She stepped out of them. Regina beckoned her closer so she could run her hands over the side of Emma’s thighs. She looked up at the blonde, who held her gaze and crossed her arms to reach for the hem of her top as though she were about to peel it off.

But instead she came to a standstill.

“More?” she teased.

Regina pleaded with her eyes but Emma was enjoying the power she held over her too much for it to have any effect. Her lover, and she delighted in being able to refer to Emma in that way now, merely raised her eyebrow. So Regina slid her fingers in both sides of Emma’s panties and edged them down. She placed a kiss on Emma’s pubis a few inches above the hairline. Her breath hitched when she realised she could smell the arousal on her. She made eye contact with Emma again to check she was ok to keep going and continued when she saw Emma wet her lips.

Regina raked her nails across Emma’s behind as her kisses moved lower. 

Emma slowly began pulling up her top, revealing a smooth black bra underneath. Regina hadn’t got a good look at her without clothes on the last time she’d been over. They’d been hurrying, and Regina had half turned away so Emma could put her pyjamas on in privacy. Now she had the time to memorize every inch. She ran her hands over Emma’s stretchmarks, both old and new, and hummed with pleasure. This was bliss.

The blonde straddled Regina’s lap and kissed her, deeply. “Tell me what you like, Emma,” she said. “I want to drive you wild.”

Her words caused Emma’s hips to buck slightly. The blonde unhooked her bra and guided Regina’s mouth to her breast before arching back and gripping her shoulders. Regina took a nipple in her mouth and ran her tongue around it. The noises Emma made turned her on even further. Regina moved her head to the other breast and continued. It wasn’t long before she felt Emma’s arousal on the top of her thighs. She went to slip her fingers in between Emma’s legs but the blonde stopped her, “Your mouth would be better," she whispered.

Regina was happy to oblige. Emma made to stand so they could alter their positions but Regina held her on her lap and lay back on the bed instead. She urged Emma to shuffle forward until she was straddling her chest. Regina trailed her fingers across Emma’s clit. It felt like she was getting there but was not quite ready. So she followed up on her earlier flirting and cupped Emma’s vulva with her palm, moving it back and forth gently until her fingers were slick. Her lover began grinding against her. “I’ll tap if I need out,” she said, pulling Emma’s hips down towards her face. 

She started with long slow licks, using the flat of her tongue to put pressure on Emma’s clit. Her lover moaned out loud at the contact. She held onto Regina’s wrist with one hand whilst the other grabbed the headboard for support. Regina began to alter the pressure and direction, exploring what had the most effect, feeling so turned on herself she slipped a hand between her own legs. 

In time Emma’s moans grew more frequent. She began to grind her hips again. So Regina quickened the pace until she brought her over the edge, helping to steady her as she tipped forward onto her hands when her muscles contracted. 

When Emma rolled back onto the covers Regina wiped her mouth and shuffled upwards and onto her side; laying an arm on Emma’s chest so she could feel it rise and fall rapidly as she got her breath back. Regina basked in pleasure and satisfaction; she had caused that.

“Good?” Regina asked.

“Terrible,” Emma mumbled.

Regina laughed. She closed her eyes and held Emma close until her breathing slowed. “I’ll be right back,” Regina said a few minutes later, and went into Emma’s en-suite to wash her face.

She barely had any time to reflect as Emma wasn’t far behind. “We’re not finished yet,” she said, looking over every inch of her. Emma positioned Regina with her back against the sink, removing her damp underwear as she knelt. “Good job it’s your turn next,” Emma murmured. Regina couldn't take her shirt off quick enough. Her bra swiftly followed.

Emma began trailing kissing upwards and nipping along the insides of her thighs. She bent a finger and ran the second knuckle gently between her inner lips. Forwards and backwards. Forwards and back. Regina grabbed on to the edge of the sink either side of her. “Fuck,” she moaned in pleasure.

As Emma stood Regina cleared her throat slightly; “Have you erm, got any-” It wasn’t necessary for what was about to come but she knew from experience it would make things a lot more comfortable.

“Oh, yeah. One second.” Emma dashed back into the bedroom and returned triumphant. Regina took the bottle and tore the wrapper off. She pumped some lube onto her palm and rubbed it over Emma's fingers until they were slippery. Her desire made a mockery of her intention to take things slowly and appreciate the moment. She now felt desperate to finish what she'd started when she was lying on the bed earlier. So she pushed Emma's hand down then lifted her own leg up to rest on the side of the tub in order to grant Emma better access. 

“You’re incredible,” Regina whispered.

Emma smiled. “Right back at ya.”

Regina tilted her head in pleasure when Emma slipped a finger inside, prompting Emma to kiss her neck whilst she slid her index up and down. She let her lover know when she was ready for a second digit. And a third. And when she needed Emma to start rocking her fingers inside her instead of thrusting. “You’re so hot,” Emma whispered to help tip her over the edge she was dancing on. Regina could feel Emma’s eyes on her. “After you kept sliding your foot up against my shin yesterday you were all I could think about.”

The idea that she had been driving Emma crazy made her moan.

Emma kept her hand moving. “There?” she checked.

“Not quite,” Regina gasped. Emma shifted direction a little bit and Regina’s body jerked in response. “There,” she panted. Her leg resting on the tub was aching but she didn’t care. She only craved more contact so she moved her hand forward and gripped onto Emma. Her weight bearing leg began to tremble, and a few minutes later she bucked her hips and let her head fall back as all her muscles tightened and released. Emma moved her to a sitting position on the side of the tub allowing her ride out the rest of her orgasm more comfortably.

“Bed,” was all Emma said a few minutes later.

“Yes,” Regina agreed.

They crawled between the sheets. Regina drifted into a haze with her head on Emma’s chest and her lover’s hand stroking her hair. 

“You’re staying the whole night again, aren’t you?” Emma whispered.

“Of course,” Regina replied. She was going to leave things there but Emma’s words were jarring. Regina shifted her weight up onto her elbow and pushed her lips against hers in reassurance. “Night Emma,” she said before curling up against her to sleep.

“Night.” 

 

Regina awoke some time later and crept downstairs to get her designer holdall. She grinned when she slipped back into Emma’s bedroom. The smell of sex still lingered in the air serving as a pleasant reminder. The curtains were still open. The moon provided just enough light to see. She pulled out her toiletries and went into the bathroom to freshen up. And it was a good job she did as her reflection was really quite something; make up smudges and hair sprawled everywhere.

As she brushed her teeth she began looking around the bathroom, all of Emma’s things had been pushed to one side of the counter, and there was even some space on one of the shelves in the shower. It showed a huge shift in her lover's thinking.

She heard a rustle of sheets from the other room. “G’your ass back in here,” a sleepy Emma said.

Regina spat the foam into the sink and wiped off the lube smears from earlier. “I’m a Queen. Don’t tell me what to do.”

“An ima leather jacket wearing princess,” she mumbled. “Live by my own rules.”

Regina crawled up the length of the bed and slipped back under the comforter next to Emma. She traced patterns on her lover’s skin. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered, as she lay on her side with her head in her palm and made love to Emma slowly until she came again. The blonde rolled onto her side and held her hand after Regina wrapped her arm round to spoon her.

 

A loud shriek jerked Regina back into consciousness.

“Hey shhh,” Emma hissed urgently.

Regina pried her eyes open and to her dismay, discovered it was still half dark outside. Sophie began babbling. “So much for a lie in,” she croaked. “What are you even doing?”

Emma looked very apologetic. “She was up early and I couldn’t get her back to sleep. So early in fact that we’ve already had breakfast, haven’t we?” She kissed her daughter’s forehead. “If you take her for a minute I can make you coffee?”

Regina shuffled herself up into a sitting position against the headboard. Emma wouldn’t quite meet her eye. She had to admit, she wasn’t sure how things were going to be for them both this morning either. Regina cuddled the baby she’d been given then grabbed Emma’s phone so she could take a selfie of them both without her knowing.

“You’re really good with her,” Emma said when she came back. She put the coffee on the bedside table, which Regina now noticed was empty apart from a picture of her and Henry. The sight moved her immensely.

“Thank you.”

Emma sat down and lifted Sophie out of Regina’s arms and onto the bed next to her. She then put a pillow on Regina’s lap. “Does it bother you that she’s half Hook’s?” she asked, lying down on her.

Regina rested her arm on Emma’s side and wondered why she brought it up. “No more than the fact that Henry’s father is a thief who knocked up a teenager, put her in jail, and happens to be son of the Dark One. And he got engaged to someone who was working for Peter Pan and was in a relationship with a man who tortured me… ”

Emma winced. “Well when you put it like that,” she laughed. “Next time there’s a man in my life I’ll have to bring him to be vetted by someone with better judgement.”

Emma had her eyes closed so she missed the hurt flash across Regina’s face before she managed to rein her feelings in. Regina knew she was probably joking but it felt like a reminder, a stabbing confirmation that she was a fling between true loves. She bit her lip.

“Would you ever want more kids?” Emma asked.

It felt like a trap with no right answer but she could only tell the truth. “No, I don’t. Henry was always enough for me.” Sophie rolled over so Regina watched her for a second to make sure she wasn’t going to keep moving and reach the side of the bed. “Besides, you forget that I spend most of my life surrounded by small children anyway.” She wondered whether her response changed the way Emma thought about her, and what Emma had wanted her to say. “What about you?”

Emma fidgeted as she answered. “In the past I would have said no, but I dunno, she’s kinda growing on me. And it would be nice to give her a sibling.”

Regina leaned forward, covered Sophie’s ears and asked something she’d long wondered; “Did you want her to begin with?”

Emma shook her head.

“But he did,” Regina said softly.

Her lover nodded.

“Oh, Emma.” Regina sat back and squeezed her arm. 

She suddenly felt desperate to break free of the four walls that surrounded them. To escape the place where Emma’s ex had lived and slept. So she suggested they go and eat breakfast at Granny’s. Her treat. And that also meant they would reach another milestone; going out somewhere alone for the first time together. Lost in her own thoughts she took a long time to put her make up on and pick her suit up off the floor. The business card was still there in her pocket. She ripped in half before giving it a new home in the trash can.

 

They were quiet in the car on the way over to the diner.

“Everything alright?” Emma asked.

“Of course, why?”

“It’s just that last night seemed so awesome and this morning it’s like…all the magic left.”

“Well you were laying it on quite heavily with your line of questioning.” 

Emma had one arm folded across her chest in the passenger seat. Her hand was clenched into a fist as she pressed it up against her lips. “Sorry,” she mumbled.  
Regina put a hand on her leg to comfort her. “Don’t worry about it. I will start quizzing you about your career aspirations and the meaning of life on Tuesday.”

“Thanks,” she said dryly.

Regina was happy to note that she didn’t object to the fact that she had just invited herself over.

“We’re still getting to know each other Emma. And this is new territory. We’re still figuring out how to explore it.”

“I don’t want the fact that I’m a parent to get in the way of that,” Emma confessed.

When she looked over Regina noticed that her face was etched with concern. Regina remembered what she’d said in the bar about how men who hit on her ran a mile when they found out she was a mother. Perhaps she was also regretting sitting next to her with Sophie whilst she was sleeping earlier.

Regina didn’t get a chance to answer as there was a car blocking Main Street outside of Granny’s.

“Isn’t that Ruby’s?” Emma said.

“If that is Sleepy’s fault I will make sure he never wakes up again. He’s going to get someone killed!”

“No,” Emma said. “Look. There’s something written on the car. It wasn’t him.”

A small crowd of people, including Ruby and Granny, were stood around the vehicle looking shocked by what they’d discovered. And when Regina rushed closer she could see why; large white letters making up the word ‘whore’ had been streaked across the windshield. On the doors someone had written “Marriage is a woman's honor and duty” 

“This is disgusting,” Regina muttered. She assumed it was the same person who had been leaving all of the graffiti. Although it troubled her they'd dared to do this so openly and that they'd managed to get away with it. Hadn’t the Neighborhood Watch seen anything? “We need to step up our game", The Mayor continued, "so we can catch the bastard behind this. He’s escalating.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback always welcome. x


	11. Time's Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently realised that by spending the past year writing S5/S6 Emma back to life I've been slowly reviving myself too. I started this fic just before I had a mental breakdown which left me unable to work for a month. After medication, counselling etc. I'm doing a lot better. I ended up quitting my job with nothing else lined up. Then managed to find a higher level position that pays more and is closer to home. Wahoo! 
> 
> I'm still managing to carve out a chapter every month or two. Thank you for your patience and love. In between updates this WIP became my fic with the most kudos. : D 
> 
> Shout out to pinkshoiri, my awesome beta reader who has saved us all from my convoluted sentences.

The bell on the door chimed. Emma raised her head and saw Regina hurrying in from the cold. They were in Granny’s. A few tables had been pushed together to accommodate those who'd first discovered Ruby’s car, as well as a few members of the Neighborhood Watch. They’d saved Regina a seat, but instead sitting straight down The Mayor carried the chair over to Emma and gestured for some-one else to shuffle up first. She pulled off her leather gloves as Granny placed a coffee in front of her. 

“Thank you,” Regina said, before turning to address everyone. “What’s the latest?” 

Despite seeing that the diner’s new manager was about to speak, Granny began talking. “More graffiti on the back window of my diner,” she chipped in.

Sophie began whimpering so Emma shifted her onto her other knee and began to bounce her slightly. “We pushed the car off the road,” she added. “And Charming’s taking paint samples and prints from it as we speak.”

“Yes, I just saw him outside,” Regina nodded. “I checked out a few of the places that have been targeted before. The school, the Town Hall…they’ve all been hit again.” 

Emma’s fingertips wouldn’t stop tingling as she filled Regina in, “We’ve called round everyone in the Neighbourhood Watch who was on duty last night. No one saw anything.” 

It was a sombre atmosphere. There was little to say in the face of such disturbing behaviour. Emma thought back to the image of the well-built, middle aged man she’d seen on the security footage a few weeks earlier. She couldn’t wait until they caught him. 

“And you can’t think of any reason why you might be targeted?” one member of the Neighborhood Watch asked Ruby. 

The brunette shook her head.

“No enemies,” they paused, “or, erm, spurned lovers?”

Emma’s heart twinged as the word reminded her of the business card she’d found in Regina’s suit pocket that morning. 

“Excuse me,” Ruby said, looking disgusted. “What are you implying?” 

“Alright,” Regina raised her hands to silence the person’s questions before she made any other inappropriate comments about Ruby. “We don’t have an invisible criminal on our hands. Somebody must have noticed something out of ordinary.” She searched their silent faces. “Anyone?” 

Someone coughed.

“Anything? Anything at all?” Regina continued.

Ruby spoke up; “The only thing that seemed out of place was that my car smelled of roses,” she shrugged.

There was more awkward silence.

Emma rubbed her fingertips. “Alright, well who knows, that detail might be useful in the future,” she said, “so thank you.”

The meeting went on with the townsfolk and Emma's father once he had come back from collecting evidence. They decided to double up on the Neighborhood Watch for the next week and install more hidden cameras in key areas. They would also staple leaflets to the town noticeboards warning people and asking them to keep an eye out. In addition Emma and David would contact shop owners and ask them to call the sheriff's department whenever anyone bought any paint.

The sound of chairs being scraped against the floor filled the diner and people pushed the tables back into their usual position before heading home. 

“I’d better make a move myself,” Emma said with a look of apology. She lifted Sophie slightly; “She’s getting cranky.” Her daughter looked thoroughly unamused from being unable to crawl around for so long.

Regina sighed that the morning had been taken away from them. “It’s OK, I’ll make my own way home.” She looked apologetic too. “I would offer to come back with you but I’m babysitting your siblings soon.” Emma scrunched her face slightly at the reminder of her thoroughly weird family dynamic. Regina took one of Emma’s hands for inspection. 

“They feel funny,” Emma explained. I guess they’re just burning after coming in from the cold,” 

Regina frowned but let the matter go. And with other people watching there wasn’t much else she could do other than place a hand on Emma’s arm and bid her farewell anyway. “Let’s speak tonight,” she said quietly. 

 

That evening Emma ignored Regina’s text asking if it was a good time to call as another thread of anxiety took root and knotted itself around her stomach. She’d been dwelling on the conversation they’d had in bed that morning again. And her mind kept going back to the business card Regina had kept with the engineer's personal number and what would grow from it.

She let Regina’s call ring off to answerphone and tried to keep her mind busy by folding clothes she’d left on the floor and putting the ones that needed washing in the laundry basket. Then she thought better of it and answered Regina's second call. 

“She lives,” Regina exclaimed, exasperated. “I was about to teleport over and shake some sense into you.” 

The guilt crept in. “How was your day?” Emma asked, deliberately trying to keep things light. 

“You already know.” 

Emma smiled as she imagined how the afternoon had played out. “Lemme guess, the eldest two ran around a lot and tired you out - but you didn’t fall prey to their charm when they tried to beg you for candy or justify any mischievous behaviour.” 

Regina chuckled on the other end of the line; “Exactly.” Emma heard what sounded like items being put into a bag.

“Then you would make a comment about Baldy Poldy that would also,” she made sure to emphasise the sarcasm, “shockingly, somehow, be a way to tease me – like by mentioning how he takes after his siblings in the stinky diaper department.” 

“It’s like we’ve had this conversation a dozen times already,” Regina humoured her before unsubtly swinging the conversation round. “Why haven’t I heard from you all day?”

Emma sat on the bed and swallowed; as much as she valued that Regina knew and understood her so well a part of her struggled with feeling so scrutinised. She began to fidget with a loose thread on her pyjamas. “Just been busy tormenting myself with a blow by blow replay of this morning.” 

“Well don’t you know how to have fun,” Regina joked. She paused, giving Emma the space she needed to continue. Though it was like she was holding her breath on the other end of the line it was so silent.

“I may have also seen a business card that had fallen to the floor whilst we were undressing last night,” she confessed. “I slipped it back into your suit pocket.”

Regina wasted no time in answering; “Check your trashcan.” There was a sound of a zip being pulled closed.

Emma stood and peered into it, moving some papers she’d thrown in there earlier to get a better view. She sat back down on the bed and let herself fall onto her back, laughing. “You know you invited yourself over on Tuesday?” Emma asked. 

“I remember.”

“Well I don’t want to wait that long.”

Regina announced that she’d be right over. Emma told her to use magic because she couldn’t be bothered to walk all the way downstairs to open the door. The brunette appeared in a whirl of purple smoke and placed her bag down. She flopped on the bed next to her. They kissed in greeting. Emma parted reluctantly. 

“About that business card…” Emma started saying as she slid her hands in her pyjama pant pockets so only the thumbs were poking out. Regina hummed in response. “I realised why it was bothering me so much. It’s because I only want you to see me,” she told the ceiling. 

“Good,” Regina grinned. "I have no trouble agreeing to that." Emma turned back to face her and found her looking both relieved and utterly delighted. 

Emma shifted closer and wrapped an arm around her - she mentally tried a few different options out before settling on the right word; partner. “You were totally already packing in the hopes of being invited,” she said. 

Regina ran a hand through Emma’s hair and twisted it out of the way so she could rest her head against Emma’s without blonde locks covering her face. “Guilty as charged,” she mumbled. 

“The world felt really dark today,” Emma whispered, referencing the events that had been going on in Storybrooke lately. 

“We won’t let it stay that way,” Regina replied. And Emma believed her. For she always brought hopeless situations back to life. 

 

Their second attempt at going out for breakfast was a much greater success. They only parted ways so Emma could go to the weekly parent and baby meet up at the gym. She interacted with the other moms and dads a lot more this time, initiating a round of crawling races between similarly aged babies. It felt good to be building up her fitness again and to take out the stress of the weekend on the punch bag. 

As she was drying her hair two of the other moms in the group entered the changing room. She recognised them as the women she’d overheard bitching about her and the way she was raising Sophie. The sound of the hairdryer prevented her from hearing what they were saying but the looks they shot her way gave her a good idea. She planned what she going to say to them as she walked out. 

“Oh, Emma. Hey!” said one with a fake smile plastered on her face as the blonde walked over.

“You do realise I’m right here,” Emma pointed out. “Or do you think I’m blind? Whatever your problem is, either say it in conversation with me or quit making these petty looks and comments whilst I’m in the room. It’s just pathetic.”

As they were neither mature enough to own their behaviour and apologise or brave enough to confront her in return they just awkwardly stood there, looking outraged that the target of their criticism was challenging their attitude towards her. It was extremely satisfying. 

Emma addressed what she’d heard them say previously; “Relationships aren’t an achievement. Being a single parent doesn’t make me worse than you. And next time you see someone struggling why don’t you offer to help instead of lording over them?”

She made sure she knocked into one of their shoulders on the way out. 

 

It was Monday morning again. So time for the usual routine. Get Sophie ready for babysitter. Drop Sophie off at Aurora’s. Stop by Granny’s for fresh coffee before work. Although the new manager was on duty today. 

“How’s the handover going?” Emma asked.

“It isn’t,” Elinor said with a sigh. “She’s having a wee bit of trouble letting go.”

As if on cue Granny entered the diner. Elinor hurried over and tried to block her path to the staff’s side of the counter. “I’ve told you to stop coming in on your days off.”

“Just making sure everything’s been done,” Granny replied. “Did you rotate the stock of coleslaw in the supply room?”

Emma sensed an argument brewing so she grabbed her cup and hurried towards the door.

“We’re doing everything exactly the way you insist,” Elinor said through gritted teeth. “Even if it’s not the most efficient way,” she mumbled.

“I’ll just stay for the morning!” Granny proclaimed.

Emma felt relieved to step outside. She spotted Belle and waved at her as she walked to work but the brunette looked troubled. She didn’t stop to chat like she normally would. Emma shrugged it off and finished her own morning commute.

She greeted her father as she entered the Sheriff’s Station and they sat down to catch up on the developments from the weekend. There’d been some footage of the criminal captured on camera but nothing they could identify him with; his hair and face were covered. He wore gloves too so there weren’t any fingerprints. 

Charming handed over the results of the paint analysis on which Emma examined with great interest. The guy had used a different paint to last time – this was some acrylic enamel stocked by a company called Auto World. 

“Storybrooke doesn’t have stores large enough to stock more than a few cans of household paint,” Emma commented. 

“Then it’s time for us to take a trip to Tillman’s Garage,” he said gravely. 

 

Unsurprisingly the garage was shut – as Hansel said it usually was these days. There was no answer when they visited the Tillman home either. Emma told Charming about her encounter with the teenager as they peered in through the front windows. 

They were just stepping back when Emma saw movement in the dimly lit room. Someone froze, and then ran into the hallway towards the back of the house. Emma was halfway round the side of the building when she heard the back door slam open. A young woman with dirty blonde hair sprinted to the end of the yard, squeezed through a gap in the fence, and ran out of sight. It had been a long time since Emma had had reason to chase anyone in Storybrooke. Even when things like killer plants had been on the loose it wasn’t like they moved that fast. Just creepily. They always got you that one moment you took your mind off them. She squeezed through the fence and spotted the woman up ahead. She gave chase until they reached the centre of town. 

Emma lost her behind a row of stores. She pulled out her cell and called her father. “Hey, what’s up,” she gasped, getting her breath back.

“I’ve a quick look around the house. Apart from being incredibly dirty and rundown there’s nothing of interest. I’m just leaving now.” 

“You didn’t follow me in the cruiser?” Emma threw her arms up in frustration. If they’d had the car they could cover a greater area and they’d be more likely to catch her.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve got it covered.”

“Well I haven’t,” she replied angrily. “I lost her.” 

“Use your gut, Emma. I know you can track her down.”

Emma hung up before he had time to annoy her further. She wondered around for a while searching for anything that would indicate where the young woman had gone but she couldn’t see anything useful. Her thoughts drifted to Hansel and how he’d been hanging around the old ice cream store. Once the lot was in sight she snuck up slowly towards the back entrance. The air stank of weed and the lock was still busted. She pushed the door open and crept inside.

The young woman was sat on the floor, smoking, with her back against the counter. She tried to stand when she noticed Emma’s presence.

“You’d better stay put,” Emma said. “The last thing I wanna do is run after you again.”

The woman reluctantly sank back down. She took another drag on her spliff. Unlike her brother she inhaled with the ease of a practiced smoker. She would have gotten on well with Emma’s younger self.

“Can I sit with you?” Emma asked.

There was no response.

“Well aren’t you the talker,” The Sheriff muttered as she joined her on the floor. “You wanna empty your pockets for me.” She had a suspicion that the reason she’d bolted was because she’d been caught coming back from her latest burglary. 

Gretel didn’t even look at her. “No,” she said. 

“You wanna get arrested for theft?” 

“Fuck you.” 

“Oh please. Gimme a break. You know I’m not the bad guy here.”

Gretel gestured toward the freezer. Emma stood and walked round. Underneath one of the trays where the ice cream would have been kept lay a small pile of cash and jewellery. She’d suspected who’d been behind the burglaries for some time but had never uncovered any evidence before. She’d never been able to catch her in the act either, despite the fact that she seemed to strike during the day when people had gone to work. Emma whipped out a small plastic bag, put her hand in to pick up the items without physically touching them and pulled the bag back through so they were safely stored inside. She handed Gretel her phone, open on the notepad screen.

“Write what you’ve taken and where you took it from,” Emma instructed. 

Gretel began typing. “Don’t look at me like that," she said.

Emma spoke without judgement, knowing how hard it was when you were young and didn’t have both your parents, or were stuck with ones who didn’t think you were a priority. “I guess I always thought you’d do more with your life when you graduated from high school.” 

“Forgive me of being tired of waiting tables in the Italian. It’s not like there’s much else for me to do here.” She began to explain how she’d tried her luck in a larger town nearby but had struggled to make ends meet with such high rents and deposits – even when she’d tried house shares. Her dad had never been able to help support her. He usually spent most of his earnings on drink. “And then there was this guy…” Gretal continued. 

Another narrative Emma was very familiar with. “...who didn’t turn out so great,” she finished. 

“Understatement of the century.” Gretel handed Emma her cell back. Once she felt sure she wouldn’t bolt for the door Emma stepped aside to make a call that would hopefully break the cycle Gretel had fallen into.

 

The following evening Emma was redoing her hair in the living room. “You got everything you need?” she asked Grace. The babysitter nodded. “And you remember where everything is.” Another round of nodding. Emma kissed her daughter on the forehead and told her she’d be back by ten. She checked her make up in the rear view mirror before heading inside the bar. 

Regina was sat at a table with two drinks, ready for her arrival. Emma checked her phone to confirm she’d come on time. Regina must have been eager for their date. Emma supposed it was their first night out alone together. Her partner stood and kissed her on the cheek a little longer than she should have done in public. “You’re looking good,” she said. 

“As are you,” Emma replied, appreciating the fact that Regina was wearing something just see-through enough to show her bra underneath. They brushed hands as they rested them on the table and teased each other about whose car they would drive to New York in that weekend.

“So Granny is going to train Gretel up to become the new manager of her guesthouse?” Regina asked once Emma had filled her in. “What a great idea.”

“That woman is going to give herself another heart attack if she doesn’t take things more slowly,” Emma agreed. “And I’ve made it clear that if Gretel steals again I’m going to arrest her and drive her to court myself.” 

“Where was she getting the cannabis from?” Regina questioned.

Emma could understand her concern. Young people in small towns often turned to drink and drugs out of boredom. If anyone was dealing they would need to act. “She got a couple of plants off a guy she’d been dating,” Emma finished her drink. “They were great fun to set on fire.” 

Regina suddenly looked delighted - before realising that Emma had just mimed lighting a match and hadn’t actually regained the use of her magic. “Well at least that’s one less thing to worry about,” she said. “And her father?” 

“She said that despite his failings in life he wouldn’t resort to that kind of vandalism.”

Emma excused herself for a trip to the bathroom. Regina was waiting for her with their purses when she came out of the stall. 

The blonde raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Regina kissed her once she’d washed her hands. “I didn’t want to wait any longer,” she pouted. “And we can’t do this out there.” She kissed her again. 

Emma wondered if there would be a time when they could be together openly in Storybrooke. Would Regina be happy for them to tell other people? Would her interest last long enough for them to reach that stage? They decided to drive back to Emma’s despite there being plenty of time before she was due. Emma paid Grace until ten anyway. Reliable babysitters really were that hard to find. 

Emma liked having someone to fill her home and sit so close with. She settled down next to Regina on the couch while they searched for stroller friendly New York activities on her iPad. The challenge was they had both done so many of the attractions already during their trips to visit Henry over the past few years. Though Emma knew she wouldn’t mind seeing some of them again so she could enjoy them properly without the pirate. Her first choice was to do a section of the High Line. Regina wanted to visit an art gallery. They made sure there was plenty of time scheduled for Henry to drag them to a pizzeria. Regina stayed the night again.

But Sophie's cries woke them before morning and it took Emma a while to get her settled. When it looked like Sophie was finally drifting off in the crib Emma returned to her bedroom as quietly as possible. Regina appeared in the bathroom doorway rubbing her eyes. 

"Sorry", Emma said. "She hasn't been like this lately."

But Regina couldn't understand what she was saying. "I cast a spell to stop my hearing," she explained, grumpily. "Shake me awake in the morning."

They climbed into bed, and Emma pulled the covers tighter around her body as Regina turned away from her without even a kiss goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback create kittens.


	12. Borrowed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Emma visit Henry in New York.

When the elevator doors pinged open, Regina helped Emma manoeuvre the stroller into the hallway and then hurried over to Henry’s apartment. She knocked loudly on the door. As soon as Henry opened it her arms were round him. If she were being honest with herself she was probably squeezing him a little too tight. He moved forward to hug Emma before she had a chance to reach up and cup his cheeks in her palms. 

They’d travelled over from Storybrooke that morning and checked into a hotel nearby. Although no one had admitted it yet, she was certain that Henry had made the reservations for her birthday and then pretended it was a gift from his other mother. Emma probably hadn’t known what to get her and then needed Henry to bail her out after panicking and leaving it too late to buy anything in time. 

“Hey moms,” he said. “Good to see you.” 

His words downplayed the situation considerably. This had to mean a great deal to him. It was the first time they had both visited New York together since he moved away for college. 

Emma scooped up Sophie from the stroller and Henry led them inside. Regina tried to get a good look of the room without obviously doing so. She was pleased to see it was just as ordered as the last time she had been here. Not that she had expected anything different. Henry and Violet had never struggled to take care of themselves. And Henry had been so smart and independent from such a young age. Her son had been lucky in some small way as he had been able to move straight into Neal’s place when he left home. There were no chaotic college dorms. No strangers for roommates. Only the bills to pay which he and Violet managed to cover thanks to their part time jobs. 

“Hi, Regina!” Henry’s girlfriend said. “Emma,” she greeted, a little less enthusiastically. Violet hugged both of them and then went to fetch some coffee from the kitchen. Henry took Sophie in order to supervise her crawling around on the floor. Regina slipped one of Henry’s video games under a pile of his textbooks when no one was looking.

“How are you enjoying the phase where she makes a beeline for everything she shouldn’t touch?” he laughed, guiding her away from a socket. 

“Like mother like daughter,” Regina quipped.

Emma pointed towards her, “All morning I’ve had to put up with this,” she joked.

Regina watched Henry with a huge smile on her face. She always pictured him having his own children whenever she saw him with Sophie or with Emma’s siblings. She knew he would make a great father someday. Though despite how well Violet and Henry got on Regina hoped that parenthood wasn’t on the cards for them straight after college. Otherwise it would definitely be a case of too many babies in the family too soon. 

Regina pulled out some brochures for the art gallery they were about to visit so everyone could plan their route round. 

 

Once there Emma had lost interest first. Henry had been eager to accompany her to the café so Regina and Violet ambled on through all the rooms. They listened to the audio information on their handsets as they passed each piece of artwork. One of the paintings showed a seaman packing for a journey. 

“Where’s your father these days?” Regina asked. She knew that he spent his life traveling from country to country, utterly fascinated with modern life. Exploring other realms had never been enough for him. 

Violet shrugged. “I lose track.”

Regina bit back her anger at the man. “Has he been in touch lately?”

“I heard from him about a month ago. He said he was heading into Nicaragua,” she replied. “When he ran out of money he sold his blood to get some more apparently.”

“How…resourceful of him.” Regina said politely. She slipped a fifty dollar bill into Violet’s pocket. 

“Hey, you don’t have to do that,” Violet insisted. “I have enough to get by.” 

Regina knew that, but she always liked to give Violet some change when she saw her so she could afford to treat herself to something nice. “What was that?” she said loudly as she marched over to the next painting. “Did somebody say something?”

 

After lunch they headed south on the subway and took the elevator up to the High Line on the corner of Tenth Avenue and West 16th Street. For most of the year it was overflowing with flowers and plants but only the soil was visible in winter; full of hidden bulbs waiting to bloom again. 

Henry and Violet walked ahead holding hands. 

“Aren’t they disgustingly cute?” Emma said, jokingly. She tucked in a corner of the blanket covering Sophie to make sure she stayed warm.

“Do you think they’ll last?” Regain asked. She thought they would. Not just because they such a good match It was hard to imagine Henry with a native Earthling who hadn’t lived in another world, didn’t know about magic, and wouldn’t believe him when he said he’d been to The Underworld. 

“Who knows,” Emma shrugged. “Sometimes relationships change and stop working. Sometimes you meet somebody else you’d rather be with.” 

“And sometimes you know you want to be with someone for the rest of your life,” Regina hinted.

“Like my parents.”

Regina shook her head. “Well yes, them too I suppose,” she said.

Emma nodded in the direction of their son. “Do you think he’ll stay in New York once he graduates from college?”

Regina hoped not. As much as she wanted him to live his own life and be happy she desperately wanted him close by too. “If he did I’d probably think about moving,” she confessed. 

Emma stopped abruptly. “What? You wouldn’t stay?”

“I miss him too much already, Emma.” 

“Not even for me?” she asked quietly. 

It almost made her laugh how much things had changed. The Mayor remembered a day when Emma had been so desperate to leave; it had taken an accidental trip into the past to make her want to stay. Now she had grown such deep roots it would be almost impossible to move her away from her job and her family. Regina sighed and smiled sadly. “You do complicate any potential future plans,” she admitted, feeling conflicted. It would all depend on how serious Emma turned out to be about their relationship. She leaned in so that their foreheads were touching. 

However, any intimacy between them couldn’t last long. They were both aware that Henry and Violet could turn round and see them at any moment. So instead they carried on quietly. Regina gently bumped into Emma’s arm to interrupt her lover’s thoughts. “Even if that day comes, it won’t be here for a long time yet,” she pointed out. 

“True,” Emma conceded.

“So let’s focus on what we have now.” 

The thought made them both smile. 

They quickened up their pace to catch up with the others. The elevated walkway widened as it ran parallel to the Hudson Yards and approached the river - opening up to some incredible views. They bought hot chocolates from a street vendor and sat on some benches to admire the skyline. Regina always felt happy when she was with her family and now as the frost-covered city glistened under the sun the grim events of Storybooks felt like a world away. 

Back at the hotel Regina went to her own room to fetch her pyjamas and her wash bag. She walked the short distance down the corridor to Emma’s room and knocked softly on the door. Emma answered, looking tired. Regina touched her arm as she walked past. 

“You’re freezing,” Regina said. “Go take a bath.”

Emma looked tempted but hesitated. 

“It’s alright,” she reassured. ”I’ll take her.” 

Regina pulled the curtains closed and listened to the sound of water filling up the tub. It was comforting. One of the many sounds of domesticity. No matter how many decades it had been the convenience of hot running water was always something she appreciated. She saw Sophie crawling towards the bathroom door to find her mommy. “Oh no you don’t,” Regina said, picking the seven-month-old up and returning her to the play mat. Sophie whimpered unhappily. Regina gave her a toy and fished out a bodysuit for her to sleep in from one of Emma’s bags. 

She played with her godchild for a while, alternating between bouncing her on her knees and letting her crawl off to explore the room when she grew restless. Sophie was faster and more adventurous now. She loved to see where she could go. She was learning how to grab things and pull herself up too. Regina almost had to pull her out of the bottom compartment of the stroller. 

Once Sophie grew more tired Regina wrestled her out of her clothes and into the bodysuit. As she’d already been fed, Regina put straight into the crib and rested her palm on the baby’s tummy for a minute or two to help settle her. She stayed nearby until Sophie’s eyelids began drooping.

Steam was snaking out through the gap in the doorway where the bathroom door hadn’t quite closed. Regina walked over. “I’ve put her to bed,” she said softly. 

“Thanks,” Emma called. There was some splashing of water. “You coming in?”

Regina provided her answer by immediately entering the bathroom. She feasted her eyes on the sight before her. Emma had propped herself up against the back of the bath and was resting her elbows on the edge of the tub. Her nipples had begun to harden from the chill of the air now that her chest was above the water. Regina imagined placing her lips on Emma’s body where droplets beaded on her skin. Days out together were wonderful but it was hard to spend so long being restrained. She peeled off her layers of clothing slowly - enjoying the effect it produced. Emma’s eyes followed Regina’s hands as they undid every zip and button. And Emma drank in the sight of every inch of freshly revealed skin before raising her gaze to make eye contact with Regina again. 

Emma uncrossed her legs until they were touching the edges of the tub. She offered Regina a hand to help her balance whilst she stepped in. Regina lowered herself into the water and lent back until she was resting against Emma’s chest. The heat of the water was exquisite. As were Emma’s arms around her. She covered Emma’s arms with her own and held on tight. 

“We need more of this in our lives,” Regina said.

“Yes,” Emma agreed. “It’s getting harder to spend time with you and not be able to touch you.” 

Regina decided to seize the opportunity that had just opened up to her. “Well, we could always allow ourselves to be a little more affectionate in public,” she suggested. She translated her thoughts into Emma-speak. “And we wouldn’t have to declare anything as though it were a royal announcement off a balcony. We could just let anyone who saw us reach their own conclusions.” 

“That we’re…together,” Emma added.

“And no one else gets to have us,” Regina continued, aware that she hadn’t confirmed their exclusivity when they’d been talking on Emma’s bed on Tuesday. She was keen to do so now. They entwined fingers.

“Because it’s our relationship,” Emma said. 

Regina’s face broke into the biggest grin that Emma wanted to label it so - especially as they had only been seeing each other for a few weeks. Though admittedly it already felt much longer. “Exactly,” she beamed, letting her head fall back to come to a rest against Emma’s. The blonde nuzzled against her hair. 

“Did Sophie seem settled to you?” Emma asked. 

Regina’s heart rate increased as she anticipated what was about to happen. “No more or less so than usual,” she replied honestly.

“Then it looks like I’ll have to take my chances,” Emma whispered, freeing a hand in order to rake her short fingernails down Regina’s forearm. Then she moved her hand down towards Regina’s thigh and gestured for her to open her legs. “Let me kiss you,” Emma murmured. Regina turned her face and sought Emma’s lips. 

The Mayor tried to shift her position so she could turn her body round to face Emma but her partner kept her pinned down. Emma wove her left hand in Regina’s hair and tugged, exposing her neck for her lips to explore. Regina sighed with pleasure.

Soon Emma was massaging her breasts and running a thumb over her nipples. She began trailing her fingers along her thigh, slowly getting closer and closer towards her clit until Regina was almost squirming in anticipation. “Hurry up,” Regina breathed. And she moaned when Emma’s fingers made contact and notched up the pressure. Her partner brought her to the edge and Regina ended up sliding down the bath as she climaxed. Emma wrapped herself round Regina again, but this time she held still until she had a chance to recover. 

A while later Regina turned over carefully so she wouldn’t slip. She balanced on all fours, knees resting between Emma’s legs, hands either side of Emma’s torso. Her partner’s cheeks were pink from the heat of the water and face was flushed with desire for her. The sight aroused Regina all over again. She leaned in to kiss her, exploring Emma’s mouth with her tongue whilst she pressed a knee between Emma’s legs. Her partner realised what she was doing and began to buck her hips against her. Regina pulled her head back slightly, allowing them both to get more air as their breathing grew faster. Desperate to satisfy her own desire again Regina managed to bring one hand up to rub her clit with her fingers. Both tried to stifle their moans of pleasure as they came so they wouldn’t disturb Sophie. Both lay sated in the tub, spent. For now anyway. They stayed there until the water became too cool. 

Regina towelled herself down and was about to leave the bathroom in order to fetch her pyjamas when Emma put her hand on the door frame and blocked the way. 

“Don’t,” Emma pleaded. 

Regina’s face became etched with concern. “Do what?”

“Go back to your room.” 

Regina winced, recalling how irritable she’d been the last time she’d stayed over at Emma’s when Sophie had woken them. No wonder her partner thought she was going to sleep elsewhere. Regina had tried so hard to remain composed that night but the ear piercing cries had got the better of her. 

“I’m sorry I was so grumpy that night,” Regina apologised. 

“I thought you were gonna put one of the Seven Dwarfs out of a job,” Emma teased. But her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I know you really value your uninterrupted sleep. I’m guessing that’s why you didn’t cancel the second room Henry, I mean I had booked but,” she reached past Regina and pulled something out of her wash bag, “I bought you some earplugs.” She held them up hopefully. 

Regina smiled. “I guess great minds think alike. I brought some too,” she replied. As there was no magic outside of Storybrooke they were the only realistic option. “And I didn’t want to cancel the other room just in case Henry found out somehow,” she reassured. Besides, they wouldn’t have saved any money as they were both non-refundable. 

They went through to the main room and Regina sat in front of the mirror to apply some anti-ageing cream. She despised the slight crow’s feet that were developing at the corners of her eyes. Through the glass she watched Emma put on a matching vest top and pant set and sit on the bed with her knees drawn to her chest.

“If she wakes up I’ll try to keep her as quiet as possible,” Emma said, speaking softly as they always did when they were in the same room as a sleeping Sophie.

“Babies cry Emma. That’s pretty much their raison d’être. It’s not your burden to shoulder. It’s mine because I’m the one it bothers.” She didn’t know what the future held for them both but she knew that she needed to get used to babies waking in the night again if they were going to last. She didn’t want to become a full time parent again. That was something that would not change – so she was determined to make the nights they did spend together run as smoothly as possible.

Emma nodded but didn’t seem fully convinced. She was afraid of something. 

Once Regina had finished she pulled back the covers and patted the space next to her for Emma to occupy. She switched off the lights and pushed one of the earplugs in. 

“So I can insult you all I want now, can’t I?” Emma teased. 

Whilst Regina couldn’t see her partner she could almost feel Emma grinning as she spoke. “Both of them aren’t in yet,” Regina replied, as she slid a cold foot onto Emma’s bare leg. Emma shrieked and kicked it away. 

They cuddled up, face to face, tangled in each other’s limbs. Before she fell asleep Regina thought about how long she had waited for this. She had fought so hard. Every second had been worth it. 

Regina woke first in the morning after an uninterrupted night’s sleep. She nudged Emma into consciousness so they could spend a bit more conscious time together before she had to return to her room and get ready. Henry and Violet were coming over to the hotel for a late breakfast that morning. 

“I had the most bizarre dream last night,” he told his parents excitedly. “An octopus was in my house and I was trying to squash it with my sweater. It was so weird!” 

“Have you been playing retro games on your phone again?” Violet asked.

Henry coughed and pushed the conversation forward, “Moms, what about you?”

Regina could feel her cheeks get warmer. “Oh,” she blustered, trying to think of something to cover up the fact she’d had a raunchy dream about Emma. “Nothing I can recall.”

“Boring,” Henry interjected. “Mom?” he said, looking at Emma. 

“Some weird dream about being stuck on an island,” she replied, looking troubled as she recalled it. “And then a storm hit.”

“I like my dreams better,” Henry stated.

 

The afternoon went by too quickly and soon it was time for them to leave. 

“You know you can call me any time,” Regina said to Violet, “even if it’s just to chat.” Next she embraced her son tightly. “I’ll see you soon,” she said. Thankfully it wasn’t that long until spring break. Emma dragged her away before she started to fuss over him too much and then she said her own farewells. 

Regina waited a few minutes into the journey to announce that when they stopped for food, they would be going to Hardee’s. 

“What if I want to eat somewhere else?” Emma said.

“That’s irrelevant,” Regina joked. 

“My choice takes precedence,” Emma replied, “ because out of the two of us I’m going to have the worst Monday morning tomorrow.” 

Regina scoffed in mock outrage, “I have to work on the end of year accounts.”

“I work with my dad.”

"I have a meeting with Mr Radcliffe!"

Their banter made the long journey home much more bearable.


End file.
